


Who Was I To Make You Wait

by ashesofmusic



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Dominant Kylo Ren, Drama, Eventual Romance, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff, Jealous Kylo Ren, Medical Trauma, Protective Kylo Ren, Reader-Insert, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Smut, Strangers to Lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-29
Updated: 2020-11-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:34:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 25,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27261325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashesofmusic/pseuds/ashesofmusic
Summary: As a Princess of a well known nation you thought you had things figured out. You had your direction in life as an intern medic, despite you parents best efforts to get you into royal politics. But your parents disapproval was about to be the last of your worries as the war with enemy Drax Silo intensifies. To appease your people and the people of the First Order a marriage is the only option. That marriage being between you and a monster in a mask.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You
Comments: 14
Kudos: 59





	1. Chapter One

All you had ever known were the four walls of the perimeter of the city. You lived on planet Atlantia, in the capital city Lyra. You were one of three girls born to the King and Queen. You, being the youngest Princess, were babied right from birth and despite hating it you learned to live with the overbearing and overprotective nature of your family. Apparently, they hadn't always been so over the top with protection but a year before you were born your oldest sister Natalie had been attached. Luckily no harm was done but ever since your parents had left nothing to chance and became the overprotective parents you knew and loved. 

As of recent you had found yourself wandering around the palace grounds more and more as the war raged on through the galaxy. It's as if you were memorising every inch of it just in case the unspeakable happens and it all goes up in flames. A new threat had emerged over the past few months. Drax Silo. Drax Silo was the leader of this great threat that, along with advanced experimental weapons, had armies that were proving hard to beat. Even as a powerful and strong nation Atlantia were really being hit hard. Another nation being hit hard was that of the First Order. While having previous history of war with them they had become a surprising ally to Atlantia. Two months back it had been announced that Atlantia and the First Order would join forces in an attempt to halt the damage and destruction Drax had caused thus far. Many had been against this union while others knew we were desperate for anything that could give us an edge. So far, we hadn't been defeated by Drax, but we certainly weren't gaining any ground. That’s where the First Order came in to play. Over those two months your parents had worked with King Han and Queen Leia to come up with a game plan to fight Drax. But with tensions still high between both nations it was proving harder to get on track. Fighting was still happening within the nations themselves as well as between Atlantia and the First Order. With uncertainty of the future of both nations as allies it created unwanted tension between both parties. So much was changing all over the galaxy, so you took solace in these quiet moments to yourself in the gardens of your home. 

“Princess Y/N, sorry to disturb you but it is almost dinner time we must head back now.” Your head handmaiden spoke softly from a distance away. You took a breath in and nodded as you turned in the direction of the palace. 

As you entered the dining room your parents and your two older sisters, Lily and Natalie, were already present. You took your seat and zoned out of the conversation your sister and mother were having. A few minutes after you arrived dinner was served. It was a typical dinner with you just sitting there while the rest of your family conversed. This was pretty common as you were, in a way, the odd one out of the lot. Natalie, being the first born, was introduced to the royal family politics as soon as she was old enough. Nat thrived in the role she was in and you knew she would be a fierce senator someday. She was more or less the star of the family as she truly did excel in her job. Your other older sister Lily was much the same. She wasn’t as prominent in the world of politics like Natalie was, but she was slowly rising, and you knew they would make an excellent team one day. You on the other hand had absolutely no interest in royal politics. It put you figuratively and literally to sleep most the time. For many years your parents and sisters had tried to get you interested but they failed every time. You just couldn’t help it you weren't wired for politics and public speaking so you much preferred leaving it to the professionals. 

Instead you had a brain wired for medicine. Ever since you were younger you knew it was what you wanted to do. The catalyst for this being when your handmaiden, when you were thirteen, had accidentally fallen and scraped her knee. Even at a young age you pushed all the adults away and demanded to fix her knee yourself. It amused everyone to no end and set a fire inside of you. As you grew older and the political role your parents wanted for you was shoved down your throat you kept on hinting about studying medicine. At first your parents said no and told you it wasn’t possible for a princess to do that. But as the years went on and you reached your 18th birthday you made it clear to them that as soon as you finished your regular homeschooling you would go and train to be a medic. This was shot down immediately so you did the only logical thing you could think of. You went behind their backs and did double time with the study. During the day you begrudgingly studied politics and by night you were face first into medical textbooks and online learning. It was rough but you did it. As the years ticked by and you kept on sneaking around, with the help of your sisters eventually, time came for the practical learning to start. There was no way you could hide that, so you sat your parents down the night before your first shift as a trainee medic and told them how it was. You were top of your class for the past 2 years and whether they liked it or not that was your future. You could still visualise the looks of frustration and hear the long sighs they both gave. But nothing felt better than the joy of them finally giving in and accepting your chosen future.  
That had been a few years ago and now at 24 you were truly loving every second of being a medic. You had now graduated from being a trainee and were in the middle of your internship in Lyras top medical centre. You didn’t tend to talk to your parents much about your work as you knew, in a way, they still thought of it as a disappointing job for a princess and not ‘good enough’. It frustrated you so you just kept at what you loved and knew one day they would be proud of their medic daughter. Part of you wished you weren't a princess and was just a regular person then you wouldn’t have the pressure of a family of royals looking down on you and your work 24/7. But you knew you were stuck with where you were and dealt with it. The medical centre was the one place you truly felt in control and felt freedom. You didn’t get too much freedom being who you were so every time you dressed in your scrubs and entered the hospital you enjoyed every moment. 

A kick to your ankle woke you up out of your daydream and you quickly refocused and looked to your side. Lilys eyes were on you and she inclined her head to communicate for you to snap out of it. As you looked up you noticed everyone's eyes were on you again. 

“Huh? What did I miss?” You so graciously said. 

“As I was saying,” You father spoke, obviously displeased at your lack of focus, “We will be having some visitors arriving on Friday night who will be joining us for dinner.” 

“Ooh visitors! Who is it?” Natalie asked excitedly. She was the social butterfly of the family and knew whoever it was she would get a chance to network with. 

“The royal family of the First Order.” You mother spoke softly. 

Your sisters and you stared for a minute before your father continued talking. 

“They are coming to stay the weekend as we will be making an announcement on Saturday morning and thought it best they be here for it.” 

“What is the announcement father?” Lily asked, dripping in curiosity. 

“As you all know there has been a lot of controversy surrounding our decision to join with the First Order. Many are thinking that once this war comes to an end we will go back to waging a war against each other again. But that isn't the case. This alliance is for good because it needs to be. We don’t know what threat could come after Drax Silo so it's best to stay prepared and stay connected as nations. That’s why not only are we joining our people and our army's but also our families.” 

There was dead silence following your father's words. Your sisters and you all made eye contact confused by what your father meant. Natalie was the first to put all your thoughts into a sentence. 

“By join families what do you mean?” Her voice trailing off quietly. 

“It means exactly what it sounds like. There will be a marriage uniting both our families. King Han and Queen Leia have their son Kylo Ren and we have three daughters of marriage age, so it  
works perfectly.” He said quickly knowing there would be more questions. 

“I'm already married so I better bloody be out of this.” Natalie said worriedly. 

“Of course, dear we didn’t even contemplate you being an option.” You mother said assuredly. 

“So that leaves Y/N and I then. So, who is it? Is it me?” Lily said with a slight waver in her voice. 

You and Lily locked eyes concern flooding between the both of you. 

“No Lily we decided the best person for this marriage would be Y/N.” 

You felt the air in your lungs disappear as if you had been winded. Your mind was running at lightspeed running the conversation over and over trying to find the joke and sarcasm you hoped was hidden in your parent's words. But the serious look on their faces told you there was no punchline and that this was in fact real life. Before you could even take a breath to speak both your sisters jumped up and started all but yelling at your parents. You could barely concentrate but knew they were making sure your parents knew their distaste and outrage at this announcement. 

“What the fuck do you mean Y/N is marring Ren! You cannot be serious. Everyone knows what he is. He’s an evil murderous Sith who kills and tortures for fun!” Lily shouted at your parents. 

“There is no way I am letting my baby sister marry that psychopath. Find another way to sort our problems that don’t involve throwing her into a wolf's den.” Natalie said with venom in her words. 

You couldn’t help the warm feeling flowing through you at the protectiveness your sisters were showing. But looking at your mother and father you knew there was nothing they could say or do that would stop this happening. That’s why they waited till a few days out from the First Orders arrival to tell you therefore leaving no time to find another alternative to the issue.  
Even so you couldn’t help the dizzy feeling and nausea that came with the idea of marrying a monster in a mask. Every single rumour you had heard about him made your stomach roll. Kylo Ren, son of the King and Queen of the First Order was well known across the galaxy for being a ruthless Force user. His actions proved his power a million times over. He took no shit from anyone and would snap necks at even a wrong look in his direction. No one even really could put a face to the name as he constantly wore a mask concealing himself from the view of anyone.  
You idly think whether his own parents even know what their child looks like. With all this flowing through your mind the only question you could form was why you. 

“Why me? Why have a marriage?” You said your voice threatening to break mid-sentence. 

“With all honesty you are the only one who can move to Cyrus easily.” Your father said. Cyrus was the First Orders current home base planet far from Atlantia. 

“What do you mean I'm the easiest to move. I am not moving planets besides I'm near the end of my internship I can't just up and leave this is the most crucial part of my whole medical career thus far.” A small ounce of hysteria that was threatening to explode was peaking its head out. 

“Obviously Natalie is already married so she can't be married and move anyway. Lily is also in her prime time to rise as an important figure in the political world it would be best for her to stay here and continue that rise. You on the other hand can stop what you are doing and move without much trouble at all.” By now you were getting more and more angry at your fathers' words. 

“I will repeat I am in the middle of my internship I cannot just up and leave!” This time you had no control as you raised your voice at your parents. “Why are you punishing me? I get you were never happy that I wanted to save lives over spend my days talking politics but this is important to me and if you even think for a fucking second I am dropping the only thing that gives me purpose then you can fucking think again.” At this you stood up as the need to be sick was truly washing over you. Before anyone could stop you, you ran until you reached the door to your quarters. Falling into your room you locked the door behind you then you entered your bathroom and locked that door too. All you could think to do was to put as many walls and locked doors as possible between you and your impending future.


	2. Chapter Two

You weren't too sure how long you sat on the floor of your bathroom crying. But it was long enough for you to run out of tears. You didn’t cry very often at all as you had grown a hard shell from being a medic. You had to be emotionally reserved when it came to dealing with patients. But the news of your wedding broke that hard shell into a million pieces. You shivered at the thought of marrying him. 

A soft knock broke you out of your thoughts. 

“Y/N can I please come in?” It was Natalie at the door to your quarters. 

You let out a sigh and stood up wobbling a bit at the numbness that had settled in your foot. You walked over to the door and took a deep breath in and unlocked the door. Immediately both Natalie and Lily came rushing in collecting you into a warm hug. 

“We cannot believe they are actually serious about this.” Lily said. “We questioned them after you left, and they are dead serious. They are here for the weekend to meet us and well mainly to meet you then they are going back to Cyrus for a week. After that on the following Sunday you two will be married here in the royal chapel.” 

“You have got to be kidding me.” You said in disbelief. “A week and a half warning. That is all they are giving me. Shit that basically means a week and a half of having a life left for me.” 

“Y/N... Please I know this is a stressful time and I don’t doubt he is dangerous but surely mother and father wouldn’t put you into that much of a bad situation.” Lily said quietly. 

“Something tells me that nobody tells Sith Lord Kylo Ren what to do and who not to torture and kill. I doubt I will even last a week.” You said as you flopped down on your bed. You knew you  
were being a touch dramatic, but you honestly didn’t know whether that was even being dramatic or just being realistic. 

“Look if that monster lays a hand on you bite a finger off. Surely he has to be on his best behaviour I mean our future rests on whether or not this marriage calms the concerns of our people or not.” Even though you knew Natalie was right you couldn’t help the doubt running wild in your mind. 

“I'm so not looking forward to Friday.” You faked coughed a few times. "Look I'm sick I better quarantine myself for a few weeks.” You looked up at your sisters seeing their deadpan faces and you sighed loudly. 

“Everything will be fine okay, and we will be with you every step of the way.” Lily told you. 

“Yeah, until I'm alone with that weirdo.” You couldn’t even imagine what it would be like to meet him let alone live with him. Or share a bed with him. Ugh. You needed to do something to get your mind off it all, so you got up and walked over to your closet and grabbed a spare set of scrubs. 

“What are you doing? It’s the middle of the night.” Nat asked you. 

“I can't lay here thinking about things it will drive me insane so I'm going to work.” You said simply as you entered your bathroom. As you did you caught a glance of your disheveled appearance. Maybe you could make yourself look ugly and he won't want you. Yeah, nah that would not work but it was a last resort surely. You smoothed out your hair and wiped the bit of  
mascara that had run down your face, got changed and walked out again. 

“I will walk you to transport okay?” Lily offered. 

“Sure, guess everyone has to make sure I don’t do a runner right.” A small laugh left your lips as you stalked out the door towards the transport bay to get a lift to the medical centre. 

36 hours that’s how long you ended up working for that day. Or night. You weren't sure what sort of time schedule you were on, but it was something and you were exhausted. As you stumbled back from the transport bay to your room you were already imagining yourself falling back into the soft sheets and pillows adorning your bed. You almost moaned in anticipation of that moment. You barely had a butt check on your bed when you heard her voice. 

“Princess, good evening! Time to get ready for tonight how was work?” Nephron your hand maiden said cheerily. 

“What's tonight?” You groaned rubbing your closed eyes groggily. 

“The dinner with the First Order of course.” Nephron said as she made her way to your wardrobe. 

Your eyes flew open at her words. 

“What do you mean? Fuck. Its Friday night already? Look I’ve just gotten off a bloody marathon of a shift I think I’m going to pass on tonight so send my regards okay. Thanks, you truly are a dear.” You hoped beyond the galaxy that that would be anywhere close to acceptable. Instead, you hear a short curt laugh come from your hand maiden. 

“Hun you and I both know there is nothing at all that could delay this dinner tonight. Look the staff were informed of the reason for the dinner and I wish it weren't so. I’ve enjoyed being by your side these past few years and I will mourn your absence.” Nephron was different to all the hand maidens you had known she felt like another mother to you as well as a best friend all rolled into one. Of course, there was nothing that could hold off this dinner, so you sighed again dramatically. 

“Fine. At least let me have a shower I have nasty surgery juice on me I'm pretty sure.” You muttered. 

“Ew yes please go do that.” You had to laugh at her reaction. 

“Perhaps I shouldn’t that way I will smell and be sent away from the dinner table.” That idea was definitely up for consideration. But before you could ponder more ways to make yourself as unappealing as possible Nephron walked over to you, grabbed your hands, and pushed you in the direction of the bathroom. 

Once under the stream of the shower you thought more about what this meeting would be like. More importantly what they would be like. You had obviously heard the worst about Ren, but on the other hand you had actually heard good things about the King and Queen. The previous ruler of the First Order, Snoke, had been a nasty man who ran his people like slaves. But someone had killed him years ago leaving Han and Leia to take over and run the nation properly. Not much was known about the takeover but everyone in the galaxy knew it was for the better. 

You heard a knock on the door and knew that was your warning to hurry up. You got off work around 5pm so figured dinner must be set for around 6.30pm. You stepped out the shower, throwing a towel around you before walking back into your room. During your shower Nephron had set up the makeup and hair tools needed to make you presentable, as well as setting out your dress for tonight. It was a beautiful dress. Pale blue in colour hanging to the floor with silver accents around the bust and boning details giving it a corset look. You never had must opportunity to dress up and despite your despise for politics you do wish you got to go to the balls and various galas your sisters went to constantly. 

“Sit love we only have 45 minutes to whip you into shape.” Nephron said happily, fiddling with the hair dryer cord. As she set to work doing your hair and makeup you zoned out again as you felt the nerves you had been suppressing all week show their ugly head again. You truly didn’t know what to expect from tonight or the whole marriage in general. All you knew was you already felt homesick and you hadn't even left yet. You figured it was more the knowledge that as soon as you step foot into that dining hall your whole life would be different. You hadn't imagined yourself marrying anyone, at least not for a good long while. You were happy just doing what you normally did and hanging with friends in your spare time. Ultimately, as a Princess, you were aware that you would eventually need to marry someone to maintain your position and rank, but you figured, like your sisters, you would actually get to pick your partner. 

As the clock ticked closer to dinner time you focused on what was happening around you again. Nephron had finished your hair and had it sitting half drawn up with the rest curled and hanging down to the middle of your back. She was also halfway done with your makeup. You had to admit she certainly was talented at what she did and knew you would miss her dearly. 

“I’m going to miss you Neph. I hate to think what the handmaidens of the First Order are like.” 

“I'm sure they will be lovely. Besides they will have to serve you so if they are being assholes then you could get Ren to execute them.” Nephron said with a deadpan voice. 

She always managed to make you smile. “Nephron, even if they are mean I don’t want to create a reason to add to his kill count, it is high enough already.” You couldn’t believe that he was to be your husband. You would have thought your parents would have picked someone more...well stable and noble. Guess in these times they couldn’t be overly picky. 

“Okay makeup is done and time for the dress. Your mother let me pick it out for you. I figured you would want something floaty and pretty like this.” Nephron sauntered over to your bed picking up the dress and holding it against her body as she did a small spin. This made you laugh a little and you appreciated her helping to ease your tension. 

Once laced up into your dress you looked into the floor length mirror on the other side of your bedroom and admired Nephrons handy work. You looked like you had a full night's rest instead of being on your feet more than 36 hours straight. A knock at your door alerted you to the fact it was time to move. Natalie poked her head around the door. 

“Come on sis time to face the music.” You groaned at that and turned to Nephron sweeping her into a massive hug. 

“Thanks Neph, flawless as usual.” She smiled at you and gave you a gentle nudge towards the door. 

“Remember when we walk into that room just be confident and keep your head high and to breathe.” Natalie told you. You gave her as genuine of a smile as you could muster. 

The walk to the dining room could have been longer in your opinion and as you got closer to the open door you could hear the voice of your parents as well as voices you didn’t recognise. Lily was standing just outside the door obviously waiting for the two of you to arrive. 

“Hey finally! Mother was wondering if she needed to send guards to go find you.” Lily said playfully. 

“As much as I wanted to, I somehow decided not to run away. Figured that probably wouldn’t do me any favours.” Your sisters both gave you a warm smile. 

“Wonder if he's going to be wearing that mask?” Lily questioned. 

“Not sure but I'm more curious as to what's under that metal helmet. A super old wrinkly guy perhaps?” Natalie joked. 

“Ugh if it is an old wrinkly guy I will actually run away.” You couldn’t even tell if you were being serious about that one. 

“Girls!” All three of you quickly whipped around to see your wide-eyed mother. “Stop hovering at the door and come in and meet our guests. They are all so very much looking forward to meeting you all.” Your mother waved you over and you followed her lead and made a line oldest to youngest before walking inside. 

“Here goes nothing.” You whispered to yourself anxiety spiking as you tried and failed to take a deep breathe in. 

As you entered the room you briefly caught a glimpse of a figure clad in black across the room with your father and two other people. You immediately averted your eyes not quite ready to make eye contact with your betrothed yet. 

“Ah here they are!” A cheerful voice said. A regal woman dressed in navy blue took a few steps towards you. “I'm so very happy to meet you.” You couldn’t even bring yourself to meet her eyes. 

“Please allow me to make introductions.” Your mother began. “This is my oldest daughter Natalie, our second born Lily and our youngest y/n.” The three of you all bowed slightly in unison making sure to show proper royal manners. 

“Such a pleasure. I am Queen Leia. This is my dear husband King Han, and this is our son Kylo Ren.” You let yourself finally look to the Queen and were immediately met with warm eyes and a gentle smile which you returned. You then cast a glance to the King who also gave a smile. What made you freeze up was the fact that next to King Han was Kylo Ren himself and you could most definitely feel his gaze locked on you which made you shiver slightly. 

A voice came from across the room breaking the sudden quiet in the room you had just noticed was enveloping everyone. “Please follow me to take your seats ready for your starter meal.” A handmaiden said clearly. Everyone looked in her direction and followed her from the dining room sitting area over to the table itself. 

Your mother directed everyone to their seats and finally walked you over to your seat for the night. A seat that happened to be right across from Kylo Ren. Great, you thought, how in the galaxy were you meant to avoid looking at him if he was sitting right there in front of you. You groaned internally debating on how to deal with this situation at hand. 

Taking as deep of a breath as you could you finally lifted your eyes and looked at Ren. What almost shocked you more was there was no metal helmet to be seen. Instead, you were instantly met with intense amber eyes which surprised you. But not as much as his appearance. Freckles were speckled across his face, a strong jaw and nose with high cheekbones. He also had long brown almost black hair that fell to his shoulders. All of this ran through your mind in a matter of a few seconds before you dropped your eyes to your place setting. You let out a shaky breath and refused to think about that fact that he most certainly was not an old wrinkly man. You would even think him handsome if you weren't so terrified of the person he was. 

As your parents and the King and Queen of the first order chatted you could still feel his eyes glued on you. Part of you wanted to meet those eyes again but refrained from doing so out of fear. You knew that, even though he was beautiful, that was just his exterior. Inside he was the opposite. Despite the beauty you thought he must not have a heart considering all the people he's tortured and killed. 

As the dinner went on you started to grow impatient you wanted to run and keep on running. Away from the dining room and away from the palace and Atlantia as a whole. Though you knew once wedding time came around you would be begging to be locked up in the palace. You managed to get through the starter and main meal without meeting his eyes again. You hoped that you could just get through dessert and then make a run for it to your room. 

“So, Princess y/n.” Queen Leia began as you looked up over the table to her. “We have now heard a bit about your sisters and their ambitions and careers. What about you? Are you also involved with politics?” 

You heard both your sisters muffle a laugh as you turned to them sending a small glare in their direction. 

“What is funny about that?” King Han questioned curiously. 

“Y/N and politics don’t mix well. The last time she was present for a conversation about current politics she fell asleep five minutes in.” Natalie said humour dripping from her tongue. 

Both the King and Queen of the First Order laughed at that as your parents gave strained smiles, obviously bitter about their daughters' lack of interest. 

“Quite honestly I don’t blame you.” Leia said. You had known her all of about an hour and knew that at least once moved to Cyrus you would have at least one person who you could talk to happily which reassured you. After giving Leia a small smile, you started to speak. 

“Well yes, it is true I honestly don’t enjoy politics and could never make it my career.” You began. 

“But she would obviously be involved once on Cyrus, won't you y/n?” You mother interjected quickly, very obviously trying to make you seem as appealing as possible. This made you sigh and fueled you to carry on. 

“Actually, I am in my last year of my medical internship. With a few more months and a bunch of exams under my belt I will be fully qualified as a medic. Though apparently none of that matters to anyone but me considering my parents have told me I will be stopping that and “easily moving” next week.” The sarcasm and annoyance slipping out before you could stop yourself. 

You heard one of your sisters choke back what you assumed was a laugh as you felt the daggers from your parent's eyes digging into you. Suddenly the fork next to your plate was very interesting to you as you sat waiting for a hole to swallow you up or one of your parents to throw something at you. Sure, you probably should have reigned in the emotion a little but figured it best your thoughts and feelings were out in the open. If your parents wanted to be displeased about you well it was only fair, you mirror the same back. 

“Well, that won't do will it.” A deep voice of pure honey started speaking, Kylo Ren. You couldn’t help but look into the eyes that you wondered if they had looked anywhere but you since everyone had sat down an hour ago. “What use is having a nearly fully trained medic sitting around letting her skills go to waste.” Your eyes widened slightly as you took in what he was saying. 

He looked away from you over in the direction of his parents. 

“Cyrus has a wonderful advanced medical centre as well as an incredible team. Sounds like they will be adding one more to their ranks.” Kylo said as he moved his eyes back you to. All you were capable of doing in that moment was staring at him in disbelief. 

“That is truly kind but incredibly unnecessary Lord Ren. Y/N will be more than happy to join the political ranks with the rest of your family upon arriving on Cyrus.” Your father spoke evenly. 

“What a wonderful idea Kylo.” Queen Leia said. “Had we known about her qualifications we would have had things organised from the start. We will send communications back home after dinner and ensure things are set for the Princess ready for her arrival next week.” As you looked at Leia, Han and finally into the eyes of Kylo Ren you were truly shocked. This was not how you imagined this dinner to go. 

“Oh y/n! That is so wonderful. I know how sad you were about leaving the medical team here. She even just got off a massive shift this afternoon she loves it to no end. Thank you for taking care of that.” Lily said. 

“It's no bother at all. We only wish to make her as comfortable as possible in her new home.” King Han said genuinely. 

To put an end to the conversation hand maidens came in from the side door bringing with them bowls and cutlery ready for dessert. Once they walked back to where they had come from you looked up confused as you noticed there was no setting put out for you. What set you on edge was when you looked over and noticed the same thing had happened with Ren’s place setting. 

“We thought it would be a nice idea to have the two of you have dessert together out on the patio. That way you could start to get to know each other.” Fake sweetness spilling out your mother's mouth. Oh no you were so going to pay for all your comments tonight in some way or another. 

Before you could think this all over Kylo Ren stood up. 

“This way Princess.” He said as he gestured towards the door leading to outside. You begrudgingly stood up and on slightly shaky feet you followed him outside terrified of whether you were about to meet the real Sith Lord Kylo Ren now that no other eyes would be witness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So heres the next chapter!
> 
> Was on a bit of a roll so got this chapter out and will hopefully post another chapter by the end of the weekend :)
> 
> P.s Once things really start going and there are things like medical scenes or anything a bit more R rated I will give a little warning at the start of those chapters for you!


	3. Chapter Three

The cool air on your skin was a relief as you had been feeling rather stressed and sweaty, so it was a good change to the stuffy air inside. As you stood next to Kylo, while the hand maidens fluffed, you noticed just how big he was up close. Not only was he broad and packed full of muscle but he was a tower of a man and the top of your head only just met his chest. Before you could think more about Kylo the maidens bowed and gestured to your seats. As you sat once again opposite your future husband your mind went blank. What in the galaxy were you meant to talk to a Sith Lord about? Killing techniques or how to incapacitate someone quickly? While your mind raced around thinking about what to say to him you hadn't noticed that once again his eyes were trained on you. As you begun to feel like you were being watched you lifted your eyes that had been concentrating on your fingers to meet amber eyes again. You hesitated before deciding what to say. 

“So...What do you think of this whole marriage arrangement?” He considered what you said before replying. 

“Our nations need the manpower so it’s the most logical decision.” Right, you thought. That didn’t really give you anything to continue a conversation with. Luckily servers came out with dessert before you had to dig for something to say. You longed to be back inside where the rest of your family could hold a conversation for you. Normally you were a pretty confident person and didn’t have any problem making conversation with someone else. But then again, the people you normally converse with were not Kylo Ren. He had such an overwhelming energy surrounding him that you were sure everyone and anyone would be nervous to be in his presence. 

As you pushed the dessert around your plate you tapped your foot trying to silently will the time alone with Ren to move as quickly as possible. You were also starting to feel uncomfortable as those damn amber eyes continued to stare you down. 

“What's with the staring? Do I have something on my face? In my teeth?” You couldn’t help yourself as you let the words spill out with more annoyance than you anticipated. 

He tilted his head at your outburst his eyes narrowing slightly. Ren then leaned back in his chair before continuing to eat his dessert. So, no explanation you guessed? Must not be much of a talker then. You sighed internally not really knowing what to make of this or what to make of him. Sure, he was intimidating as fuck and his whole vibe made you nervous but on the other hand he didn’t seem nearly as temperamental and volatile as the rumours made him out to be. As he reached the halfway mark of consuming his dessert his eyes moved back to you. The constant watching made you uneasy purely because his facial expression gave nothing away which sparked your curiosity as to what goes on in the mind of such a powerful Sith. 

“Plotting my untimely demise already are you?” You said with false bravo. At this he actually gave a facial expression as he raised one thick eyebrow. 

“You seem nervous around me, yes?” 

“No.” You tried lying hoping he wouldn’t call you out. 

“Yes, you are.” His voice deepening slightly. “You haven't stopped tapping your left foot for five minutes and you have accidentally dropped your spoon out of your slightly shaky hands twice.” Whoops, you thought, guess it was more obvious than you thought. 

“Theres no need to fear me Princess. Your safety on Cyrus will be of great importance.” He started. 

“Right. Because if I die then you have to say bye bye to your newly gained numbers of soldiers correct? Of course I'm nervous to be around you, from all the rumours I’ve heard you are a malicious and ruthless killer in a mask, so yes, I think nervous would be a smart feeling to have right now.” You had no idea where this sassy confident side of you was coming from, but you couldn’t stop yourself. 

His chest rose sharply as he took a deep breath in. 

“It a good thing you are to be my wife. Not many people talk so recklessly towards me and get away with it.” His strong venomous tone conveying a very clear warning to back down. 

You dropped your eyes down and sighed at this, looking back inside hoping to see if things were beginning to wrap up or not. 

“Obey my orders and stay out of trouble and I assure you that you will live a safe long life with me on Cyrus.” You thought about his words as maidens come out to take your dishes away. A shiver overcame you at his words. He was basically telling you to be on your best behaviour or else. 

“Pleasure having dessert with you Princess. Shall I escort you inside now.” He stood up, seeming even taller than you remembered. You raised yourself up out of your seat and followed behind him with shaky legs as you entered the dining room again. Your sisters looked at you with a million questions in their eyes and boy did you need a vent session with them. 

Luckily you only had to endure the dinner for another 20 minutes before you were excused. As you got up to leave you knew those eyes were on you again and this time you refused to meet them. He didn’t take too well to someone telling him how it is, so you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing the fear in your eyes still lingering from dessert. Once goodbyes were said your sisters and you made your way back to your room and away from any prying ears and eyes. 

“So! What was dessert like? I’ve been dying to know since you stepped outside the door.” Natalie said. 

“Well honestly I don’t really know. I mean he seemed okay at first, especially with the ‘she must be a medic’ talk but then outside he basically told me not to step out of line or I'm screwed. He’s a very confusing man. A confusing man that won't stop staring at me ugh.” Once you let that all out you leaned back on your bed letting out a deep breath. 

“Well yes that’s a bit confusing. I mean he defended you against our parents which surprised me. But then if he's also threatened you then that just contradicts the defending.” Lily said, clearly as confused as you are. 

“I'm worried. Sure the King and Queen seem lovely but what is he going to be like when you are properly alone. I mean tonight, even though you were outside, you were still being monitored. How is Ren going to act when there is no one to monitor?” Natalie asked, looking out your window contemplating the situation. 

“All I know is I’m glad I will have a job to escape to. Perhaps that will just be my game plan. I will just work as much as I can so that I see him as little as possible so I can stay out of the firing line. Maybe I will get lucky and be put on night shifts and sleep during the day when he's out doing whatever a Sith does.” You sounded hopeful but you knew that the likelihood of avoiding him lots was wishful thinking. 

“Look it's been a long day and an even longer dinner. I'm knackered and just want to sleep so move out okay.” The cheerful tone to your voice sounded faker than you had hoped. Both your sisters gave you a quick hug goodnight and left you alone. 

As you laid in your bed that night the worry started to eat you alive. Especially thinking about the fact that within a week you won't be in the same bedroom and home that you had been in forever. While the idea of travelling and being somewhere new was appealing to you, the downsides that came with it outweighed it completely. 

  
That week went faster than anticipated mainly because work had been hectic, and you had been stuck doing extra-long shifts. As Saturday morning rolled around the nerves spiked again, as they had periodically throughout the week. Today was your last ever shift in that medical centre and you were not looking forward to saying goodbye to your colleagues. They had been with you all through your medical journey and had supported you to no end. As you approached the doors to the med centre you took in the building, which was not something you normally did being too concentrated on what was inside. Stepping inside those doors always gave you a rush much like the sound of a code being called or the sharp but calm voices of medics trying to work through a bad case. 

The shift passed by without anything terribly exciting happening which was a bit sad you didn’t get anything good for your last day. But as you stood around with the people you had befriended for the past few years you couldn’t help the tears that welled up in your eyes. Wow, you thought, crying twice in one week, what has gotten into you. 

As you entered the palace you were bursting for a shower and delighted in the water as it rolled down your body. Stepping out you looked into the mirror taking in your appearance again. Your eyes looked tired from the lack of sleep this week. Your shoulders also seemed more pronounced than normal, but then again, the nerves meant you hadn't consumed much more than fruit and caffeine this week. 

“Princess!” Nephron called from outside your bathroom, so you hurried out, eager to spend as much time with her as possible. 

“Hey Neph, what’s in the box?” She had a big black box with her, rectangle in shape, taking up a good part of the end of your bed. 

“It's your wedding dress of course!” Nephron squealed with excitement. You wished you shared her enthusiasm. 

As she lifted the lid to the box even you had to admit you got googly eyes looking at the dress. It was absolutely stunning and looked far to pretty and delicate for you to wear. 

“Isn't it just gorgeous. Oh my stars you are going to look stunning in it. Dear I say that that Sith isn't going to know what hit him when you walk down the aisle.” Your eyes rolled involuntarily at her words. 

“Yeah right Neph, the only thing on his mind when I walk down that runway will be the words ‘power’ chanting in the back of his mind. I'm not stupid you know because that’s exactly what this is about to him. Why else would someone like that agree to marry as he doesn't strike me as a husband sort of person. Or even a people sort of person to be honest. Frankly I wouldn’t care if I wore a sack to this wedding as its all fake and just for show.” You hadn't realised just how worked up you were getting about tomorrow. You guessed that now you didn’t have patients to fuss over it was finally time to fuss over yourself and your impending marriage. 

“Look Hun, I know nothing about this situation is ideal. But you are so unbelievably strong and driven. I mean how else did you go up against the King and Queen of Atlantia to show them you aren't going to follow their orders huh? Just make the best out of this opportunity as you can. You finally get to travel and see more of the galaxy like you always wanted! Maybe ask if you can tag along on trips with him. Plus, the First Order really do have a fantastic medical centre and I'm sure they get much better trauma cases there then you do on Atlantia.” You knew she had a point, but you were too stubborn at that moment to agree. Instead, you nodded and looked back towards your dress again eyeing the lace corset detail and soft fluffy long sleeves that added a real charm to the dress. 

“Now come on Y/N, I know you are dying to put this dress on so let's do a fitting. I need to report back if there are any adjustments that need to be made before the big day tomorrow. Speaking of tomorrow, I will be dragging you out of bed no latter that 8am as we have a lot of prep work before the ceremony which starts at noon.” As Nephron pulled the dress out you couldn’t help but throw heart eyes to the dress. It looked so light and floaty and completely your style. As your hand maiden helped you into it you admired the dress in the mirror and how it hugged you in all the right places. Wonder what Ren would think? Ew no, you thought, who cares what he thinks. Once Neph had seen no changes needed to be made she helped you out of the dress and told you to get your beauty sleep before giving you a quick peck on the cheek before hauling the box with your dress out the door. 

Tomorrow you would be a married woman and that terrified you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys heres the next chapter! I'm already working on the next one so will hopefully get that out in another day or two :)
> 
> Im also going to try and write some longer chapters so you get a bit more when I do post!


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the next chapter hope you enjoy! 
> 
> I've made a start on next chapter and I'm quite excited for it as Y/N will be making her move away from home!

Light streamed in from your windows as you jumped at the sudden intrusion of sun. 

“Wake up you beautiful bride! I was nice and let you sleep in till 8.30am. So up you get and straight into the shower while I set up everything.” Nephrons voice was annoyingly cheery, your stomach did flips as you climbed out of your bed willing yourself to move. Getting ready was the only part of today you were actually looking forward to. The hair, the dress and the makeup were the only things making you step into your shower and wash your hair. If you were going to be pushed into this marriage, then you were going to look good doing it. 

You knew this false determination would last till approximately the first step towards Ren at the end of the aisle. Your mind wandered while you showered thinking about if he would be dressed up for this occasion or in his regular black cloak and ensemble. Enough. You needed to stop thinking about him and focus on anything else. In all honesty you had thought about him a lot since you met him a week ago and you were not happy about it. It wasn’t your fault he was annoyingly attractive, even if he was a killer Sith it was only natural to appreciate a good-looking man when one presented themselves. 

Snapping back into reality you finished off your shower and strolled out the bathroom door into your bedroom seeing that not only Nephron was present but so were three other maidens. 

“Hello Princess, good morning.” The three of them spoke in unison and bowed. You lowered your head in a small bow as a reply. 

“I figured it would be easy to have a team of us prepping you. Got to make you look perfect for the ceremony.” Nephron smiled over at you. 

“Or you could make me look super ugly which is a solid option.” Neph just rolled her eyes at you and gestured for you to sit down. Two of the maidens begun to comb out your long locks. 

“You could just shave it? Peach fuzz and a beautiful dress would be amazing.” The maiden on your left stifled a laugh. 

“Someone hide the scissors.” Another maiden retorted which made you laugh. You truly were blessed with amazing people around you which made the sadness rear its head thinking that you would not get to see their faces everyday like you were used to. 

An hour after they had started your hair was perfectly curled into luscious long bouncy waves. Two of the maidens set to work putting some of your hair into intricate braids atop your head like a crown of sorts. The third maiden had made a start on your makeup applying a base that looked soft and natural yet emphasised your natural features perfectly. The whole time Nephron was fluffing with your dress and overseeing how your look was coming along. A knock on the door had her running over, opening it a small crack. 

“Neph let us see our sister now?” You heard Natalie beg. 

“Sorry girls! She's only to be revealed once she's all ready. Give us another hour and you can be the first to see her all done up okay?” They both sighed, but ultimately you heard their footsteps retreat. 

Another 15 minutes pass and another knock on the door breaks the concentration of your maidens again. Nephron approaches the door and opens it slowly before standing up straight and opening the door further, revealing your mother. 

“Hi my dear.” She says hesitantly. You had barely said much to your parents since the news broke of the marriage so her being here felt a little strange to you. “I just wanted to see you and was wondering how you are doing?” 

“Well mother, how do you think I'm doing?” The passive aggressive tone apparent in your voice. “In a matter of a few hours I will be married to the most dangerous man in the galaxy and then moving halfway across said galaxy to a strange foreign place where I will have to live with the dangerous man and pretend I am okay so we can win a war. Yeah, just fine.” This conversation was already exhausting to you and hoped your mother would just give up and leave. 

“Honey, I don’t want to fight with you. Your father and I are well aware of your thoughts about this pairing. I do understand why you are not happy with our decision, but you must know we did this as a last resort. We didn’t have any other option aside from lose to Drax or join with the First Order.” You sighed, knowing she was right was frustrating. “I know that Kylo Ren is not the most reputable man, but he is powerful beyond our imagination and one day he will become King. You will be well looked after and reign as Queen by his side. We did this not only for our people but for you as well. Now no matter what you do in life you will have an excellent position.” 

At this point you were fuming as you stood up, startling the maidens around you as you spun to face your mother. 

“Why the fuck can you not accept what I want to do. I knew that my career choice was a part of the reason you picked me. Do you know how exhausting it is trying to prove myself to you and father all the time? You have no idea what I do and what I accomplish in that medical center and you never even cared to ask. Not one fucking time have you asked me ‘Oh, how was your shift today?’ NEVER.” 

You could tell the yelling shocked your mother as she just stood there speechless, so you figured you may as well carry on. 

“I was never good enough for you. It never mattered that I got top of my class. It never mattered that I never took one step out of line while my sisters were sneaking out, going to parties etc. I stayed at home every night working my ass off to get where I am, and I hate that you and father stand there saying it's not good enough. I guess a part of me has to be a little bit happy that I won't be here under the displeased eyes of you both any longer.” 

Your breath was coming out quickly at this point. 

“I also would like to point out the fact that had you just come to me and told me the situation and ASKED me I probably would have said yes. But no, you went behind my back, made a deal without my consent, and now here we are. I have a wedding, my wedding to attend to soon so would you just leave so we can get on with this shit show.” At that you turned back around and sat in your chair trying to catch your breath. 

You heard nothing but silence and then heels hitting the floor followed by your door opening then finally slamming shut. Before you could stop it, you felt the tears fall from your eyes as the emotions ate you up. A tissue was placed in your hands as Nephron grabbed your other hand giving it a squeeze. You gave her a weak smile as you gently patted underneath your eyes. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to ruin your handy work.” You said quietly, feeling tired from the day despite it barely even starting. 

“Not to worry Princess, give me 10 minutes and no one will know you have been crying. You will look beautiful.” The maiden who was tasked with your makeup told you. You gave her a smile and straightened your back, sitting taller trying to will the emotions away so you don’t displease anyone else today. 

Within another half an hour you were all but done. Your hair looked immaculate and the makeup complimented you perfectly, winged eyeliner adding a touch of glamour to your face. The only thing left to do now was to dress you. 

As you stripped out of your dressing gown every maiden took a hold of the dress ready for you to step into. As Nephron started lacing up the corset you thought you heard a small sniffle.  
Wanting to confirm your suspicions you quickly turned around catching a tear as it melted into her skin. 

“Sorry Princess, just with seeing that fight, you leaving us this evening and with just how beautiful you look I couldn’t keep these bloody tears behind my eyes.” You pulled her into a hug, making sure not to ruin the hard work they had put in to making you look decent. 

“Thank you, Nephron. For everything really. You are not just my maiden, you are like a sister, a mother and a best friend all in one. It breaks my heart knowing that I have no idea when I will get to see you next.” You felt tears well up again. 

“No no no. Stop with the mushy talk you are not allowed to ruin your makeup now as we are running out of time okay. I will miss you infinitely and we will meet again. I wish I could say when, but we will because what would you do without me honestly.” You laughed at that. 

“Well for starters I would look an absolute shamble right now without your direction.” She grinned at you nodding. 

“Yes, very true and you would probably be dressed in some horrendous monstrosity of a dress. Now just before we let your sisters come see you and do the finishing touches just know how proud I am of you. Forgive me of speaking ill of your parents but I do wish they saw you and your success the way they see your sisters. Just know there are so many people that stand with you and support you.” 

Against her wishes one small tear did drop from your eyes, a maiden leaned forward to scoop it up before it made a trail down your face. 

You and Nephron smiled at each other before you turned to look at the others in the room. 

“Thank you all for your hard work today. I wish things had been a bit smoother for you and with less interruptions. But yes, I am very thankful.” They all bowed to you before excusing themselves. Seconds later two people came crashing through the door before stopping to stare at you. 

“Oh my gosh Y/N. You look beautiful!” Lily basically screamed rushing over to circle you and take in the full picture. 

“Wow who knew our baby sister could look so sophisticated and put together.” Natalie quipped. You just rolled your eyes then turned to look at the floor length mirror inspecting the image you saw. 

Your maidens truly had done a magnificent job and you looked like what you were: A Princess. 

“You have 20 minutes before we need to move out to transport to take you to the chapel. You are in big trouble if even a single curl is out of place.” The three of you nodded quickly to reassure her. As Nephron turned and walked out the door you were finally alone with your sisters. 

“Mother didn’t seem happy when she left the room earlier.” Natalie stated. 

“Yes, well I might have possibly yelled at her and told her exactly what I think of her, father and this marriage.” You felt sheepish about this as you knew you shouldn’t have exploded like you did but didn’t regret it. 

“Right, well I guess maybe some time away from each other will do some good. The two of you never had a close relationship so perhaps this is exactly what you need.” Lily suggested. 

“What I really need right now is some sort of hard liquor.” The two of them just looked at you. 

“Sorry to say it sis but you have to do this sober. Though a drunk bride at a wedding would be a fantastic story to tell your children someday.” 

“Natalie! Ew there is no way we are going down that conversation route right now.” You scrunched your face up. 

“Well Y/N, eventually the kids' question is going to come up and as a royal couple it is usually expected.” Natalie informed you. 

“Just because it might be something that has to happen in the future does not mean I want to talk about making a baby with Ren.” You shuddered a little at this. 

“I mean at least he's nice to look at and you won't be fucking a hideous old guy.” Lily said playfully. 

“Enough please! Sex with a Sith is the last thing I want to be thinking about before I walk down the aisle to him.” Fortunately, they both shut up and you all slipped into a comfortable silence. You didn’t really know what to say to them and neither did they to you. 

After some time, Nephron came back into the room, eyeing you carefully and checking for anything amiss. 

“Time to go Princess. Natalie and Lily, your parents are waiting for you to join them in their transport. Y/N I will be travelling with you in your transport.” Your sisters moved to the door mouthing good luck to you as they slipped away. 

You took a long deep breath in and stood up, glancing one last time in the mirror. Nephron approached you and picked up the crown that had been sitting on a table. As she placed the dainty thing on your head it truly completed the wedding look. 

“There we go, now this little Princess is ready to get married.” She looked at you affectionately, then took your hand and dragged you to the door and out towards the transport bay. 

The ride to the chapel seemed to take forever which bugged you as you just wanted this whole thing to be over and done with. You were not a fan of being the centre of attention and hoped that not too many people would be attending the wedding itself. 

As your transport pulled up the road leading to the chapel you were shocked to see just how many people were lining the streets. From what you had heard people of both nations had been buzzing happily for this wedding and had surprisingly welcomed it more than anyone had thought. You guessed that your parents and the King and Queen of the First Order had been right about joining the two nations to appease the people. 

The transport came to halt at the front of the building, and you could see your family standing waiting for you before they start the procession inside. As you took a step outside you squirmed as everyone cheered from the crowd that had formed. Why does everyone have to stare at you? 

Nephron fiddled with your hair then dress before nodding to you. 

“You don’t need it, but good luck.” She smiled at you softly before motioning for you to move to the back of the procession. 

After another few minutes your mother and father came to stand on either side of you. Neither of them said anything to you, instead choosing to stand silently. Your sisters slightly ahead kept on looking back at you, giving a thumbs up and smiling over in your direction. 

Finally, you heard music start and the line of people to enter the chapel with you started to move forward. Everyone except you as the panic started to rise. You wanted to bolt big time and idly wondered what your chances of doing it successfully would be. Unfortunately, you felt your father wrap his arm around yours, guiding you at the correct pace, inside. You could hear hushed whispers coming from inside the chapel as your family and close generals and staff led the procession. The walk to the final door that would lead you to your future husband was only metres away now and you felt yourself involuntarily adding resistance to your father leading you. After a couple of seconds your mother grabbed your arm too. Wow, I guess neither of them trusted you not to make a run for it. 

Before reaching that final door, you were stopped and then heard the music change, announcing your arrival. Against your hopes, the three of you began to walk again as they led you into the massive room. You looked all around you and saw the faces of important people of Atlantia and First Order alike. You tried not to show how uncomfortable you were and hoped you succeeded. When you were about halfway along the aisle you worked up the courage to look ahead a little. Queen Leia and King Han were standing next to their son, whom you avoided looking at as much as possible. But you did look at his parents. Queen Leia looked at you with such kind eyes and gave you an incredibly warm smile, King Han following suit. Next you looked to your sisters who were standing to the side of the arch that you were to marry in front of. Natalie and Lily gave smiles too, but you could tell they were nervous for you. 

As you reached the end of the aisle the Priest began speaking. You had been to a few family weddings over the years and didn’t bother to listen closely to the words he was saying. Nephron had given you a rundown of the ceremony and what would be said anyway. Essentially all you had to do was stand there, say a few words and exchange vows. Once you reached the stairs leading up to the arch the King and Queen took the few steps down. You own mother and father bowed to them and took a hand of your each and placed it in the receiving parents' hands. Queen Leia and King Han then led you up the stairs and placed you in front of Kylo Ren. Only then did you finally look at him. 

Honestly you were caught off guard. He wore a black suit, of course, that was tailored to fit his body perfectly. His loose hair was pushed back off his face and slicked back a little which made him look more powerful and mature. Then there were his eyes, which were glued to you, of course. You couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking. Was he nervous like you were or was he completely indifferent to today? You assumed the latter and shrugged off any worries about what he might be thinking about you and how you look to him.  
Suddenly he stepped forward and took your hands in his. They were warm to the touch and made your own hands look small in comparison to his. For some reason this first contact made butterflies go nuts in your stomach. You tried to ignore it and told yourself it was nerves and not anything else. 

The Priest began to talk again, and if you were honest, you yet again zoned out as it was all silly stuff that wasn’t very important. 

After 10 minutes you were both asked to recite the royal vows that you spoke one after the other. Then came the most nerve-wracking part of it all. Accepting his hand in marriage in front of everyone. As the Priest asked if he would take your hand in marriage Ren accepted straight away, he then turned to look at you. Now was your turn to say ‘I Do” to which you froze. As he looked at you along with the whole crowd you could feel the pressure weighing down on you and suffocating you like crazy. Your heartbeat started to race, and you couldn’t take a proper breath. Shit was all you could think as the dizziness started. Were you going to faint? This wasn’t going to be good. 

Until you felt Kylo's’ hand tighten around yours pulling your attention to him. You looked him in the eyes and thought you could see a sliver of concern. No, if there was actually concern it wouldn’t be for me anyway. As you inhaled a little more, his hands around your grounding you a little, you nodded. 

“I Do.”


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys sorry for the delay! 
> 
> My uni semester has just finished for the year so had a lot of stuff to submit the past week eek!
> 
> But I am free from that now so should be able to update often now yay.
> 
> Thank you so much for the support so far and cant wait to get more to your guys in the next few days :)

The moment the words ‘I Do’ left your mouth cheers erupted from all around the chapel. You were glad for the sudden noise as you needed to rake in a good breath after all the pent-up nerves of this whole day. You couldn’t help but notice that your new husband was still holding your hands, so you quickly pulled them out of his hold and turned to look at the people in the crowd. The two of you were motioned to start your walk back down the aisle to the transport that would take you to the reception. 

You felt wobbly on your legs and wished you had pushed for shorter heels for today. After a few metres you felt like you were going to trip but before that became reality Kylo grabbed your arm and steadied you. You had half a mind to yank yourself out of his grip again but at the same time you didn’t really feel like falling in front of hundreds of people. After letting yourself relax a little the walk back outside was uneventful aside from the cheers and clapping from all the citizens outside. It was almost deafening so you were relieved once you collapsed into the transport seat next to Kylo. As both of your parents and King Han and Queen Leia boarded you then made your way across the city to the reception venue. 

It was decided that it would be at one of Atlantias most prestigious vineyards and the place was absolutely decked out. It was a beautiful place with a ballroom and deck area that overlocked a massive lake. As the whole wedding party arrived you were escorted into a dressing room to allow you to freshen up. The moment you walked in you were beyond relieved to see Nephron standing by a chair ready to touch up your hair and makeup. You left Kylo at the doorway and rushed over to her almost bowling her over as you hugged her. 

“Please Princess sit. I must say you looked so beautiful up on that platform, it was such a delightful ceremony.” She said kindly. 

Had your new husband not been in the room you would have laughed and rolled your eyes, but you knew you were under the ever-diligent eyes of Ren, therefore meaning your best behaviour was required. 

“Thank you Neph.” You said trying to sound enthusiastic. As she powdered your face again and twirled your curls around to define some of the again you could feel eyes burning into the back of your head. You glanced up into the mirror making eye contact with him again before dropping your eyes and playing with the sleeves of your dress. This guy just doesn’t quit ever does he. You wished you could tell him to stop staring and go away, but you figured that would be considered acting up and you really didn’t want to see his bad side this early on in your marriage. 

“There all done honey!” You looked up and smiled at Nephron before standing up and turning around to see that your parents had joined Kylo by the doorway, beyond them you could also see his parents. 

“Right, let's go introduce you to the crowd now.” Your father said as he started walking down the hallway as everyone started to trail down after him. As you reached the door each family stood with their respective children before the doors opened and you could hear someone saying over a microphone to give a warm welcome to the bride and groom. Everyone cheered as you were walked out and over to the head table for the dinner part of the reception. 

Of course, you were seated on a table with Kylo by your side then on the table just below you the parents sat along with your sisters. Natalie and Lily gave you massive smiles and you could tell they wanted to come over to you and let you decompress about everything. Unfortunately, dinner was announced, and the waiters begun to walk around serving out the entrée meal. Thankfully things went smoothly as everyone ate and you were glad for a small break from everything and silently hoped dinner would last a long while. 

As soon as dinner was finished you stood up without a single glance at your new husband and made your way to your sisters. 

“Finally, we got some time with you!” Natalie exclaimed. “We have been wanting to talk to you since the ceremony finished but they said we couldn’t go in the transport with you.” 

“Yeah, which was bullshit, there was plenty of room anyway. So how do you feel being a married woman?” Lily asked. 

“Exactly the same, I guess. I mean it isn't like the ceremony meant anything, it was all for show and nothing else.” You said pointedly. 

You all stood there in comfortable silence until you noticed your parents walking towards you. 

“Oh, here we go.” You sighed. 

“Well, what a nice wedding that was.” You mother said firmly. 

“Yes. Though you did worry us when you took so long to accept.” You rolled your eyes at your fathers' words knowing they would say something about your mind blank. 

“I did have a lot going through my mind at that time.” You said, unsure of how to reply. 

“I suppose.” You mother said clearly annoyed. “Don't make us look like fools again. You have to maintain a certain image in front of everyone now you are married and in the public eye.” Once again you rolled your eyes before nodding and looking around the room for a chance to escape. 

“Hey, look, lots of people are dancing now, come on Y/N, let's have some fun, it is a wedding after all.” Lily grabbed your hand and pulled you to the middle of the dance floor before you both grabbed hands and started to dance. You we so glad for this and as the seconds went on as your bodies moved you felt the tension start to drop from your shoulders. You felt you could breathe properly for the first time today. 

A couple of minutes passed and Natalie, along with her husband, came to join Lily and you. From there you all started to have fun and before you could realise you also had a glass of champagne in your hands. Finally, a little something to help get you through the rest of the night and the trip to Cyrus with the First Order. Ugh, thinking about it made you gulp down a few more mouthfuls of alcohol. As you finished the glass a waiter came by and took your empty glass. 

“Princess?” You heard from behind you. As you turned you could see one of your father's top generals walking towards the group. He was one of the younger generals and always seemed nice. 

“Forgive me for interrupting but I was wondering if I would be so honoured to have a dance with the Princess?” You all looked at him, then eyes turned towards you. 

“Sure.” You said kindly. He took your hand and led you a metre or so away from the group before lightly grabbing you around the waist as you began to dance to the slow song you hadn't noticed had started to play. 

You both fell into a nice conversation about the union of both nations. It wasn’t your favourite subject, but it was better than silence. As the song ended you saw your mother stalking over to you. Another internal sigh started. 

“General” She said sharply. 

“You Majesty” He said bowing lowly. 

“Mind if I have a word with my daughter.” He simply nodded and broke contact with you before stepping away. “Outside now.” She hissed. 

Oh, shit you were in trouble and you had no idea why. As she led you to a quiet corner of the balcony, she turned sharply to you. 

“What the hell do you think you are doing?” You just stared at her blankly, still not understanding what was wrong. 

“You just got married, yet here you are dancing with another man. I understand you are angry at your father and I, but I would have thought you would be more respect for this arrangement. But no, instead you parade around with your sisters drinking and then dance to a slow song with another man in front of everyone. You have barely even looked at your own husband tonight. You really are a disappointment today, I thought you would have the decency to behave better.” The words hit you hard. You truly didn’t think your actions warranted all of this. It’s not like you were trying to piss off your parents, you knew how to do that well, you just wanted to have one moment at this wedding where you didn’t feel dread about what was to come. 

“I am behaving mother. I went to this stupid wedding. I said yes. Tonight, I leave for another planet without fighting it. So really you have no reason to be saying all this so just fucking stop.” 

Before you could even comprehend what happened you felt the sharp sting of a slap across your face. 

“With a temper like that you and the Sith seem perfect for each other. You will do exactly what they say for you to do. You will be a good wife for your new husband, or you will continue to be a disappointment.” 

At that your mother walked away briskly while you stood there trying to process what just happened. You clenched your hands and gritted your teeth as a retort was trying to climb its way out your mouth. You wanted to tell her you must have learnt your temper from your mother, but you didn’t feel like a second slap. You felt tears prick your eyes as all the emotions you had been feeling lately came crashing into you hard. But before you could get too lost in everything you noticed someone walking towards you. Not wanting them to see you almost crying you turned away to look over the balcony. 

“She should not have done that.” A deep voice broke the silence. Of course, it had to be him that saw. 

You just shrugged in response mentally willing him to just leave. Instead, you felt his hand come to rest on top of your shoulder, goosebumps raising involuntarily. 

“She is lucky she's your mother. The next person to hurt you will find themselves without a head. No one hurts what is mine and gets away with it.” You turned at his words, finding only sincerity in his eyes. 

He raised his hand to gently brush over the cheek that must still be red from the slap, his thumb barely touching your skin. Some part of you wanted to lean into the touch and the other part wanted to retreat. Before you could decide what to do his hand dropped. 

“Care to dance? Isn't it a tradition that a husband-and-wife dance at their wedding?” He asked. You were surprised, he didn’t really seem like a dance sort of person, tradition or not. Not knowing how to answer you just awkwardly nodded. 

He took your hand and led you back out to the dance floor, though on the outskirts this time. He grabbed your hand and snaked his other arm around your waist pulling you in close, much closer than when you had danced with the general before. You were completely overwhelmed by him. His body, his touch and his smell. It was intoxicating and you felt yourself relax into him against what the back of your mind was telling you. 

Out of the corner of your eye you could see your parents standing off to the side looking at the two of you. Kylo noticed you looking at them and turned you, so you didn’t have them in your eyeline. You looked up at him questioningly, but he was now looking at your parents, a hard expression on his face. You wondered why he was doing this it was like he was protecting you. Then again, he did defend you at the dinner against your parents. But you had to remind yourself he also threatened you within the same dinner too. He truly is a confusing man you thought. 

Kylo and you ended up dancing for a few songs before one of his advisors came up asking for his presence. To your surprise he seemed hesitant to go so you pulled away first so he could follow his advisor. Within seconds of him walking away your sisters were surrounding you. 

“Wow Y/N you two actually looked like a married couple for a bit there.” Lily quipped. 

“Wow Lily, I hate to shock you this way, but it just so happens that we are a married couple.” You said sarcastically. 

“Oh, you know what I mean. So, are you nervous for tonight?” She asked. 

“I have been trying to not think about it to be honest.” You looked down, fiddling with your sleeves again. 

“You leave at 11pm right?” You nodded at Natalie. “Well, of course we will be seeing you off. Hopefully you can come visit soon or we can come to you.” She suggested. 

“Yeah, I mean I don’t even know if I'm allowed to travel. I will have work of course, which I am beyond relieved to at least have that. But apart from work I just don’t know what's expected of me really.” You had not wanted to ask all these questions over the past two weeks as you wanted to think about the move as less as possible. You were really starting to regret that decision now. 

“Hey what did mother want to talk to you about?” Natalie asked. 

“Oh, she did a bit of talking and a little bit of slapping. You know just a nice little encounter is all.” Natalie and Lily looked at you with blank expressions. 

“Wait. Are you saying mother hit you?” Lily asked tentatively. 

“She sure packs a decent slap across the face for sure.” You say, looking around, making sure no one else was listening in. 

“What the fuck. How could she do that? That is so out of line.” Natalie looked pissed. 

“Look just don’t say anything to anyone about it okay. She was pissed at me and honestly I ramped up her anger so just drop it okay.” You said, hoping they would do what you asked. 

“Judging from the past few weeks it seems you and mother really do need some time apart.” Lily said. 

“I think so. Part of me can't help being excited. I mean I've never been allowed to travel and here I am about to leave to go somewhere far away, start a new job and just experience something totally new. I'm terrified for sure, but I just hope at least things with Kylo go fine and work is smooth sailing too.” You said honestly. 

“Well, it's good you seem to be optimistic about this marriage.” You heard your father say from behind you as you all turned to look at him. “We will be needing to leave shortly to make sure everything is ready to go. So perhaps make the rounds and thank some people for coming and meet your mother and I in the lobby in 10 minutes.” The three of you nodded and he walked away. 

As you all made your way back to the palace a small part of you felt the terror creep up your spine. Even though you had known all along you would be travelling this evening you hadn't realised one big factor: You were a little scared to fly. You knew it was safe, truly you did. But then again you had never been off planet before so all the transports you had been in were clunky and barely went any higher than some of the tallest buildings in the city. But tonight, you were going to be going vastly higher and way further than you had ever gone or even thought you would get to go. 

Walking into your room you took a deep breath as you looked around your now mostly empty room. Your furniture would stay for when you visited, but everything aesthetic that made it truly your room was now packed safely either in storage or in the 4 massive carry cases sitting by your door. You slowly walked around your room to make sure there wasn’t anything you might have missed, taking in the familiar four walls you had lived in for the past 24 years. As you said a silent goodbye you heard a knock at your door and turned around to see Nephron standing there. 

“All ready Princess?” Her voice was wavering, and you knew she was on the verge of crying, so you rushed over to her and wrapped her in a hug. 

“I am going to miss you so much Nephron, but we will see each other okay! I am going to make sure I get to come back here at least every few months at the most. This time at least we can go out and have fun like proper best friends instead of you being my ‘handmaiden’.” You said with a shaky smile, trying to hold your tears in the best you could. 

“I will look forward to that Princess. Now let me escort you to the transport bay. This way please.” You nodded and grabbed her hand as the two of you walked towards the transport taking you to Cyrus. 

As you arrived in the bay you could see some of the staff along with your family and Kylo and his family waiting for you. Before you got to them Nephron grabbed you into a hug again. 

“I will miss you Princess. Good luck for whatever the future holds for you and I can't wait to hear from you when you arrive in your new home.” You pulled her into another hug as tears spilled freely from both of your eyes. She stepped away and one by one the maidens and other staff you had known, most for much of your life, came up to you to say goodbye. All you could do was thank them for everything they had done for you and tell them how grateful you were. 

Then there were your sisters. The tears were constant at this point as they both stood there holding you as you cried silently into their arms. All you had known was the three of you against the world and now they were here sending you out to face another world. 

“Wow we are such a mess.” Lily said attempting to lighten the heaviness of the moment. 

“At least we are all ugly criers.” You joked. 

“Some more than other.” Natalie taunted as the three of you let out strained laughs. 

“It's time.” You heard your father say. After one final hug you turned towards your parents and walked over to them. 

“I guess this is goodbye then and I hope to visit sometime soon.” You couldn’t bring yourself to put any emotion into those words, especially not towards your mother. Before they could say anything else you turned towards Kylo, Han and Leia and nodded before starting to walk towards the shuttle. You knew it was a bitch move not to even give them a hug goodbye but honestly you couldn’t find it in yourself to play nice, you were beyond exhausted from this whole situation and just wanted to get where you were going already and settle. 

Seconds later you heard everyone begin to follow you as the lot of you ascended the ramp you took in the shuttle in front of you. It was all grey with shiny black details. As you were guided into the seating area you sat down on one of the couches across from Kylo. 

“It will take us around 2 hours to get there so get comfortable Princess.” Leia informed you. 

You nodded to her, hoping you didn’t look too disheveled with all the crying you had just done. For someone who wasn’t much of a crier you had done an awful lot of it lately. 

You jumped as the ship shuddered before lifting from the group. You changed your sitting position trying to play it off. As you looked out the window and saw the ship climbing up and higher than you had ever been, and you felt your stomach drop as your fingers dug into the couch as your anxiety went out of control. 

“Scared to fly?” Kylo broke you out of your glare out the window. He gave you a concerned stare. 

“Um...no.” You hoped he would believe you and that would be that. 

“Come sit here.” He used two fingers to beckon you over. “You can't see out the window from this seat.” He suggested. Again with the niceness? It was sort of freaking you out more than him being an asshole. 

The ship shuddered again which sent you flying out your seat in nervousness and you quickly sat down next to Kylo, trying to get your breathing under control. 

“Relax. This ship is very safe, and the pilot is the best pilot in the First Order, under me of course.” This did ease your fears a little bit but didn’t vanquish them totally, so you decided to opt for closing your eyes and trying to think of anything but being in space. 

A sudden jolt woke you up out of what you realised was a deep sleep. 

“We have landed now Princess. Prepare to disembark.” Han told you. 

You yawned then stretched out your arms before standing and walking over to the window. All you could see was row upon row of TIE fighters and other various transport ships in a vast bay much more impressive than one you had seen before. As you walked down the ramp you immediately felt the chill in the air and goosebumps rise, you wished you had worn something more than the sleeveless dress you had on. You realised you didn’t even know the sort of climate Cyrus had or if you even had clothing to suit it. 

“Cold?” Leia asked as she fell into step next to you. 

“I should be fine thank you.” You said politely. 

“Cyrus will be a much colder planet then you are used to, it typically is cold all year round. I hope you brought something warmer than what you have on.” You could hear her genuine concern. 

“I have a few warmer pieces. Though something tells me I'm going to need something warmer than my ‘warm’ clothes.” You sighed, you hated not being prepared, again you grew annoyed at your own negligence towards preparing for this move. You really should have known it was a cold planet. 

“We will organise a shopping day, perhaps I could go with you and we can spend some time together?” Wow, you hadn't even been on a shopping day with your own mother since you were a child. You nodded enthusiastically to which she just laughed at clearly amused. 

After a few minutes of walking, you got to the end of a hall with an elevator. Once Leia, Han, Kylo and you were inside the lift rose for a minute before stopping at a floor. 

“Get some sleep now, it has been an exceptionally long and eventful day for you, rest well.” King Han told you as he walked out the lift with Leia. Taking a step towards the hall you felt an arm grab yours. 

“Our quarters are up one more floor.” You just stood there and nodded before casting one last smile at your parents in law. 

Finally arriving at your floor, the door opened to reveal a small hallway. You followed Kylo out of the elevator and to the door. 

“This door is heavily monitored, as well as the lift. Only those permitted can come to this level as all this level contains is our quarters. The door is fingerprint locked so tomorrow one of the first things we will need to do is get you loaded into the system so you can come and go as you please. But its late so for now I will give you a quick tour and then bed for you.” 

Taking in his words was one thing but taking in the room you stepped into from the hall was another. You also came to the realisation that at this very moment you were truly alone with Kylo for the first time since meeting him and that made you nervous beyond belief.


	6. Chapter Six

Looking around you were a little shocked taking in your new home. Directly in front of you was a decent sized lounge with a comfy looking black couch sat opposite a large tv. Past the lounge was ceiling to floor windows that showed an immaculate view of the landscape. From the rooms height you could see a bit of the base and a forest with snowcapped mountains in the background. It was truly stunning you had to admit. The snowy mountains also explained why it was so damn cold here. 

“Is it the winter months currently?” You blurted out. 

You saw an amused look cross his face briefly. 

“No, we are in the middle of our warmer months.” Kylo said. Shit. You really were not built for cold weather. 

“Oh.” Was all you could muster to say in return. 

“Let me show you around then. As you can see this is the living room and over here is the kitchen.” He started motioning for you to follow him right. A medium sized, but practical, kitchen was shown to you next. Like the rest of the décor in these quarters it had a slick black granite bench where various appliances sat. There was also a decent sized pantry with a big fridge. You wondered why someone who lived alone before being married to you would need such big storage for food. 

Walking around the kitchen it had a nice island with a sink as well as bar chairs. Overall, it was a lovely kitchen made even nicer when you spotted the coffee machine sitting in the corner. You couldn’t help but walk over to it admiring it. 

“Coffee person I'm guessing?” He said, again amused. 

“Well, you wouldn’t be wrong.” You said back, still looking at the machine. 

“This place is as much yours as it is mine. So, you can help yourself to anything whether its food or coffee just make yourself comfortable.” He continued walking past the kitchen and then down a hallway stopping at the first door. “Here is the guest bathroom.” He then walked a few more metres down the hall stopping at a closed door. “This door leads to my office. If I'm in there and the door is open, you can feel free to come in. If it is closed do not come in ever. It means I don’t want to be disturbed and I don’t tolerate being bothered understood?” 

You gulped a bit nodding quickly to make sure he knew you did understand. You made a mental note to just try not to go in there regardless of if the door is open and especially if it is not. You didn’t want to instigate one of his famous temper tantrums you had heard rumours about. A moment later he proceeded to walk past you and across the lounge as you practically ran to keep up with his long strides. He led you down a hallway opposite the one you had gone down just across the apartment. There were another two doors to which he walked straight to the door at the end of the hall. He led you through the open door into what you realised was the master bedroom. 

“This is the main bedroom.” He then turned to you and gave you a long gaze. “Because of the circumstances of this marriage I assumed you probably wouldn’t feel comfortable sleeping in here with me is that correct?” You just stood there awkwardly thinking it over. Part of you wanted to say yes you didn’t want to sleep in a bed with him, while the other part was worried he would get angry if you said as much. “Well?” He prompted. 

“Uh..Um.” Shit how did you let the most dangerous man in the galaxy down easy? 

“Follow me.” Was all he said as he walked back down the hallway standing at a closed door waiting for you to catch up. He then opened the door and walked in as you followed. Inside this room was a double bed and a bare bookcase. As you looked around you could also see there was a small walk-in wardrobe. It also had a nice window that had more or less the same view the lounge did. 

“This can be your room for now.” You turned to look at him surprised you were even being given the choice. 

“Oh okay. Thank you, Commander.” You suddenly realised you didn’t know the right way to address him, so you figured Commander was respectful enough. 

You took another look around the room, you felt weird being in a different room than the one you had grown up in. As you were doing this you didn’t see that he had stepped out of the room as moments later he walked back in with two of your suitcases in his arms. He is bloody strong you thought as you knew for a fact none of your suitcases were light by any means. 

“Oh, please don’t worry, I can get them myself.” You said quickly, not wanting him to do anything for you. 

“It isn't a bother.” He said as he walked back out to get the other two suitcases, walking back in like they weighed nothing. “Now I'm sure you are tired from the whole wedding and then travelling so why don’t you jump into bed and rest. I will show you around the base personally tomorrow morning.” 

“Okay. Yes, it has been a long day.” You then couldn’t help the big yawn that erupted from you. “I might just use the refresher first though.” He simply nodded and started to walk out. 

“Goodnight Princess.” He said as he walked out the room. 

You felt like you could finally take a breath as you heard his footsteps going towards the master bedroom. You then heard the door shut and you collapsed onto the bed, giving it a comfort test bounce. Okay you thought, maybe this won't be so bad. You had survived the entire trip from home to here and you have your own space to retreat to as well. You could do this surely. 

As you felt the exhaustion travel through your body you made a quick job of finding the suitcase with your night clothes and toiletries. You then poked your head out into the hallway before padding as quietly as you could manage to the main bathroom. You had quite possibly the best shower of your life, absolutely thriving in the great water pressure the First Orders pipes offered. Once showered you snuck back into your room and shut the door. You then climbed into the comfort of your own bed before falling surprisingly quickly into a deep sleep. 

As you felt yourself slowly coming closer to consciousness you heard rustling in the kitchen. At this you quickly sat up momentarily disorientated. Right, I’m not home anymore. I’m on Cyrus with my new husband who happens to be a scary killer in a mask. You debated on getting up or trying to go back to sleep once you saw that the time was only 7.30am. Ultimately you crawled out of bed and threw on a dressing gown, shivering at the brisk air. You softly opened your bedroom door peeking out to see Kylo in the kitchen standing by your favourite kitchen appliance: the coffee machine. 

“Would you like coffee?” You heard him say. It startled you as he still had his back to you, and you had barely made a whisper of noise. Not wanting to keep him waiting you replied. 

“Ah sure.” Wow you sounded so childlike with the two-word answers. 

“How do you do like it then?” He questioned you as you walked into the kitchen and settled on one of the bar stools. 

“I like black coffee with some cream and sugar please, Commander Ren” You quickly added the last part making sure to keep up manners and royal formalities. He just nodded in response. 

You looked around the room again taking it all in for a second time. You stood up from the island bench and walked over to the window admiring the view again. You wondered whether you would be allowed to go for a walk around the base and through some of the woods. Probably not you thought again. 

Before you could get too lost in your thought you heard footsteps come up behind you. You turned around to Kylo with your cup of coffee. 

“Thank you, Commander.” As he handed off the coffee your fingers brushed against each other and you were embarrassed to feel tingles run through your body. You immediately pushed that to the back of your mind and turned around to look out the windows again, hoping he didn’t see the blush that was forming on your cheeks. 

“No need to call me Commander, Princess. Or at least not in private. When we are in these quarters or alone you may call me Kylo. But if others are present then call me Commander.” You looked over at those intense eyes that were looking at you. For the first time you truly looked into his eyes and noticed the tiredness in them as well as the slightly darker circles under his eyes than you remembered. He obviously didn’t rest well often; you had heard he was a bit of a workaholic. After all this you remembered he had told you something so you quickly nodded hoping that answer would appease him. 

“Call me Y/N then.” You said softly looking back up into his eyes as you held each other's stare for a moment. 

“Right.” He said breaking that moment up. “I have a meeting to attend in 20 minutes, so I need to leave. It shouldn’t last too long so I will come back around 11am to take you on a tour alright?” 

He asked starting to walk towards the door as you followed in his footsteps. 

“Sure, sounds great.... Kylo.” You said his name tentatively, trying it out on your tongue. It was weird to you using his actual name in front of him as you didn’t think anyone except his parents used his name. As he got to the door you noticed him push a button which raised a platform. On that platform was the mask that you were sure haunted the dreams of many. Once he had placed the helmet on his head you heard the modulated, slightly crackly, sound of his voice speak. 

“Be ready for 11am Y/N.” He then walked out the door and down the hallway. The sound of his masked voice chilled you for some reason and you quickly noted you much preferred him without the mask. You were also very glad that you had met Kylo without it too otherwise you would have been even more terrified about this marriage. 

For the first time in all your life you were somewhere where you were alone. A whole apartment just you and no one else. It was a strange feeling as you were used to maidens and others walking around your home constantly. You had to admit it was a nice feeling, so you slowly walked along each square metre of the lounge and kitchen looking at all the details. It was a very minimalist room to which you figured he travelled a lot, so he probably didn’t feel the need to decorate much. You walked down the hallway to your room and got out the rest of your toiletries and makeup and made you way to the bathroom. After half an hour or so you walked out the bathroom fully done up with a simple face of makeup, hair curled nicely and a simple but warm long sleeved light pink dress on. You then paused at the door looking to your right as you took in the sight of his office. The door was closed, and you had a moment of wanting to peek inside but thought better of it and headed left back to your room. You decided now was the best time to unpack so you emptied your suitcases and quickly filled up your closet and took your time decorating your bare room with the few trinkets and decorations you had brought from home. After an hour of that you looked at the clock and it was only 9.30am, you still had an hour and a half left to kill time. As you sat on the couch you couldn’t help but look forward to starting work as even this much spare time was annoying. Normally you worked so much that you spent any spare time with friends, family or just enjoying a break. But with no set routine yet it was making you feel weird and so out of wack with yourself. You guess that was another thing in common you and Ren shared, work ethics. 

After spending more time looking over all the contents in the kitchen you realised you should probably eat something. You had developed a bit of a bad eating habit of skipping meals. It was just easier to do when you were busy and working shifts. Your hand maidens were aware of this bad habit and always made sure they knew your schedule better than their own to make sure they had even just a snack ready for you to chow down before you collapsed in bed. Looking over the options you couldn’t decide so you just opted for an apple and a glass of some juice you found in the fridge. You hoped that Kylo truly didn’t mind you helping yourself to the food. You know he said it, but it still felt a little weird eating a stranger's food regardless. 

After eating your breakfast, you decided to brave the cold and go out onto the deck, keen to get a better look at the base. Opening the door made a small part of you regret it as the wind was sharper than you had anticipated. Still, you put on your brave face and continued to walk out onto the deck. It was a really nice area with a few chairs and a couch for sitting. Not that you could imagine yourself out here often considering the cold. As you walked along further you noticed that it wrapped around to the left past your room and to the master bedroom. As you got to the end of the deck you looked inside the bedroom noting how pristine the place looked, as if the bed hadn't even been slept in. The only indicator that someone even lived in the room was a cowl hanging over a chair in the corner of the room. Turning to walk back to where you came from you took more time taking in the view below. It was mainly just a lot of buildings and you could make out the silhouettes of people moving quickly below. You then looked up to see how many more floors were above you. None was the answers because apparently this was a penthouse apartment. That thought appealed to you as it meant this really was a private place all to yourself. Well, yourself and Kylo at least. 

You ended up standing there looking over the balcony for a long time, eventually your hands and nose got used to the cold. Staring out over your new home set you into a bit of trance, so much so you didn't hear the door open in the apartment, or even the door to the balcony open moments later. 

“Princess?” You heard Kylo say softly from behind you. No matter how soft he said it you still felt startled and your stomach hit the floor as you turned around to him. 

“Shit! I mean sorry you just scared me.” You took in a few deep breaths trying to steady yourself. 

“I didn’t mean to scare you Princess, I thought you would have heard me.” He said genuinely. 

“Guess I was more zoned out then I thought. Is it already 11am?” You asked suddenly trying to figure out just how long you were outside for. 

“Yes, it is now come inside.” He said standing back and motioning you to walk inside. “Perhaps next time try not to zone out in the cold morning air, your nose is red and you're shivering.” 

As the warm air hit your face and hands you could feel sharp tingles as the blood rushed back warming you up again. You were shivering too you just hadn't noticed it. 

“Whoops perhaps I shouldn’t zone out on the balcony.” You gave him a sheepish look as he just looked at you with a frustrated glare. Guess he doesn’t like his wives looking like idiots, well you were quite the pro at looking like an idiot from time to time so this should be interesting. 

“Are you ready to leave or do you need more time?” He asked clearly annoyed. Wow what stick was up his asshole now? 

“No.” You said quickly. “I am ready to go just lead the way.” 

He just turned and walked back to the door as your hurried to follow his strides. Once in the elevator down you braved another look up at him and sure enough, he still had that angry look written clear over his features. Had you really annoyed him just by standing outside in the cold? You guessed you may as well ask and risk finding out. 

“Is everything okay?” You asked delicately, trying not to further his anger. 

“Just fine.” He said with a blank tone. 

Oh boy now what were you meant to do? You settled for just staying quiet as you figured that was the best way to not contribute to his mood more. From the rumours you had heard he acted moody often, so you concluded you were seeing the real life Kylo firsthand. 

For an hour he walked you around the base showing you anything you might need to know such as transport bays, main communications, his office and the communal dining area. He explained that they liked to keep things simple at the base and that a 15-minute shuttle trip led to a main city full of shops, markets and restaurants that you could visit. Kylo also introduced you to anyone you passed by that he deemed important. It seemed that Kylo had exactly the same effect on everyone on the base. As soon as anyone spotted him, they immediately moved to the side and avoided any eye contact for fear of being reprimanded. Anyone that he called up to meet you seemed to stiffen and speak as politely and efficiently as possible. To you they sounded a bit like robots and well you could see that Kylo would get along well with robots given they were programmed for efficiency and accuracy. You tried to make them feel more comfortable by offering smiles in their directions and you could see the surprise in their eyes at this tiny bit of kindness they clearly were not used to. 

Guess the Sith Lord, Commander Ren really was a fearsome leader after all. 

As you felt the tour start to wind down and you walked back in the vague direction of your quarters you noticed that he had missed out on one major stop on the tour: the medical centre. While debating on whether or not to mention anything he seemed to almost read your mind. 

“Judging by the confusion in your eyes I'm guessing you are wondering why I haven't shown you where you will be working?” You just smiled and nodded. 

“I had wondered when we would get there.” You answered. 

“I thought it would make a good last stop. So, if you would follow me, I will show you the medical centre as well as introduce you to your new boss.” As you walked inside the building you recognised as the transport bay you followed as he led you across the floor. After a minute of walking, winding through TIE fighters, you saw the medical centre signs. Ahh home sweet home you thought. 

Just like back home you felt that same excited anticipation rises in you as you stepped closer and closer and going by the long look Kylo proceeded to give you he must have noticed it too. As the doors opened you took in your first glances of the centre and woah he was not kidding when he said it was an excellent centre. From just the top-of-the-line appliances you could tell how amazing this place was. You walked around in small circles just admiring every surface of this place, feeling like a little girl in a candy shop. As you did one last slow twirl you ended up directly in front of Kylo who was looking down at you. You immediately stood up straighter and looked down cursing yourself for looking stupid for the second time today. 

“Now that you're done admiring the place, I will show you to Doctor Hannacks office.” The blush that was heating up your cheeks was as embarrassing as acting like a child in front of Kylo and him acknowledging it. For fucks sake you needed to get a grip and act like the grown-up professional you knew you could be. 

As you walked down the hall you took sneaky looks into each of the room appreciating the cleanliness and organisation you could see. Even though you had your messy moments you liked nothing more than a clean workplace. Turning the corner, you were led into an office where someone sat talking to a nurse that was reading from a chart. As you entered the nurse quickly excused herself and someone, who you assumed was Doctor Hannack, stood up. 

“Ah hello Commander Ren.” He bowed slightly. “You must be Princess Y/N here to join us. My name is Ian Hannack. I have looked over your transcript and it seems that with your skills you will fit in just perfectly here. We are more than happy to have you.” He smiled at you warmly. This man was average in height and had short light brown hair with dark olive skin. He also had a jawline most guys would die for. You had to admit he was very attractive and had you not already just been married and your husband in the room you would have allowed yourself to look longer. 

“Nice to meet you Doctor Hannack. I am happy to be here.” You replied with more enthusiasm than you thought you had. 

“I need to go check something. I will leave you here Princess for half an hour while you are shown around then we have an appointment with security.” You simply nodded, eager to get a good look at this place. 

Once the sound of Kylo's boots were far enough away Hannack cleared his throat. 

“Right this way Princess, lets show you around and I will introduce you to everyone.” His smile was infectious, and you warned yourself not to get carried away looking at him. Get over it Y/N, you are a taken woman meaning no more eye candy for you. 

“Please just call me Y/N or Doctor by the way. I don’t want to be referred to by formal titles in my place of work.” You said hoping to get your point across. 

“Of course, Y/N I completely understand. Now this way.” Hannack said kindly. 

The 20 minutes went by fast as you were given the speed tour around the centre. The place was incredible, and you were itching to get your hands on all their gadgets and put them to use. Sure, the medical centre you were used to was great, but the place was also a little dated and you made a mental note to see about trying to update their gear long distance. The colleagues you were introduced to also seemed as lovely as your boss to which you were relieved. After a few minutes of talking with a group of them you felt like you had been there for longer than the 20 minutes it had actually been. You appreciated the atmosphere these people were giving off and you noticed that a few of your fellow doctors and nurses were giving of flirty vibes to Hannack. Guess he really was that pretty to look at. He also had a bit of an infectious personality with a humour to match. A humour made from shitty dad jokes that you couldn’t help but laugh at regarless of how cringey they were. As another joke was told you laughed loudly truly enjoying your time here. But that all came crashing to a halt when the faces of all your colleagues suddenly dropped and their eyes averted to the floor. 

Looks like your darling husband was back. Great. 

As you turned around you could see the anger radiating from Kylo. First off you apparently were not allowed to stand outside too long and now you were not allowed to laugh with new friends? 

This man is unbelievable. 

“Come.” Was all he said. Everyone around you scattered and Hannack gave you a quick smile before rushing off leaving you to face the fury. 

Again, you were practically running as Kylo's strides carried him effortlessly across the base's grounds. By the time you reached the building you recognised as the main communications building you were puffed. Walking into the hallway you took deep breaths trying to lower your heart rate before this meeting you apparently had.   
Stepping into a large room you could see 20 or 30 people at desks in front of screens typing furiously away, clearly trying to look as busy as possible in the presence of their Commander. As Kylo finally spotted the person he was after he started walking again across the room. 

“Hux.” Kylo said sharply. “Where is the technician that will be setting up the Princess’s fingerprints? I have another meeting in 15 minutes and I don’t want to be late.” 

The man, Hux, looked annoyed at the intrusion. But that might have been the look he normally had on his face. He was averagely tall and had ginger hair slicked back in a professional manner. He also looked like he had a permanent stick up his ass, probably explaining the resting bitch face he had. 

“Sure, Commander.” He replied flatly. “Theosa, attend to Commander Ren and the girl immediately.” 

“Princess Y/N is her proper title, General.” Kylo said with an ounce of anger falling into the words. 

“Forgive me for my informality Princess Y/N.” Hux said with a strained look on his face. This was clearly a man who didn’t like taking orders, especially when those orders came from Kylo. 

A tech quickly rushed over motioning for you to follow him into an office just off the main room. As you were sat down you zoned out a little as the tech explained the scanning process. Within no time your fingerprints were uploaded, and it was announced you now had freedom to leave and return to your quarters whenever you wanted. 

“I have only granted you access to the doors you will need and none that you don’t. It would not be wise for you to go wandering around the base to places you shouldn’t be. You will also be escorted anywhere you go so don’t worry about getting lost.” Once again there was a warning tone in his voice which set you on edge. 

“Now I will have some troopers take you back to the apartment while I have this meeting. We will be having dinner with my parents tonight. Your first shift is also scheduled for tomorrow morning at 9am.” 

“Oh, yay I was wondering when I would be starting.” The excitement leaped into your voice. 

As he walked you out of the communications centre towards the troopers set to escort you he said one more thing that made the fear from the first day you met him return. 

“Oh, and it would be wise not to flirt so openly with your boss again. I know the others do it, but just know that I don’t share what's mine, so watch yourself.” He stated, his eyes full of what you could only describe as rage. 

Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay another chapter done!
> 
> I think my goal will be to try to get around 2 chapters out a week now that I'm on a break from uni. I am working almost full time but I still have my afternoons so will get writing away :)


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys new chapter yay!
> 
> This chapter involves super mild mentions of medical injury but nothing that should make anyone too grossed out or anything :)
> 
> Enjoy!

Walking back to your quarters you couldn’t help but shiver and not from the cold this time. His words stuck with you and it really bothered you. He was so unbelievably hot and cold all the time and it was making your head spin. Each time you saw the man you didn’t know if you were getting borderline friendly Ren or intimidating as fuck Ren. You wished he would pick a persona and stick with it. 

As you let yourself back into the apartment you wanted nothing more than to curl up on the couch and wallow a little bit. It hadn't even been a full day and you were missing home like crazy, so you went to your room and grabbed your data pad. There was a bit of a time difference so being early afternoon for you meant it would be late for your sisters, but you didn’t care, you hit video call anyway. 

Four rings later and Natalie picked up. 

“Finally! We were trying to give you space to settle in, but it was so hard to not call first. Lily get your ass in here Y/N is on the phone!” Your sister yelled, seconds later the door flung open and your other sister dropped onto the bed with Natalie. 

“It's so good to see your face Y/N. It’s super weird you not being just down the hall from us. What is it like there? Can we have a room tour?” You rolled your eyes but went along with it and showed your sisters around your new home. 

“Wow its actually such a pretty place there at least you have that. How has it been living with Ren?” Natalie asked. 

“Well, it's interesting to say the least. I'm just happy to have my own room here otherwise things would be a hundred times weirder and awkward. He just has these weird moods, even just in the almost day I've been here. He acts all gentlemanly and nice and then the next minute he's telling me not to flirt with my boss. It's just frustrating.” You ranted. 

“Wait wait wait. You were flirting with your boss? In front of Ren? You really are asking to be murdered aren't you.” Lily said clearly exasperated while Natalie sunk her head into her hands. 

“I wasn’t flirting! There was a bunch of us talking and Ian was just telling jokes which were funny, and I couldn’t help but laugh. I guess Ren just took that the wrong way.” You sighed, completely over the situation already. 

“Yeah, I can see how he would think that would be flirting. His wife, laughing at another man's jokes. Yup 100% flirting to him. Especially if this other man is hot. Is he?” Lily asked 

“Well...I mean yes he is objectively speaking. But obviously I am a taken woman so once again I would like to point out I wasn’t flirting.” You said pointedly. 

“You know you can't lie to us right. There was a little flirting right?” Natalie said, her eyes narrowing. 

“Look if, and I'm not saying there was, if there was any flirting going on it was unintentional okay. I didn’t walk over to my hot boss and flirt with him point blank. It just happened, I guess. Plus, one or two of the others were flirting too so I'm just going to say I was unintentionally influenced okay.” You said, wishing for this conversation to go somewhere else now. 

“Well flirting or not just make sure Ren doesn’t see you and hot Doc having a friendly conversation okay. Save yourself the difficulty and suffering it will bring you. "Natalie said, always the voice of reason in your family. 

“Yes yes now catch me up on everything back home. How is everyone?” You asked. 

As you continued to talk with your sisters you didn’t notice it had been two hours since you sat down to talk on the couch with them. As they yawned excessively you finally told them to go to sleep, making plans to have another video call in a few days. 

From seeing your sisters yawning it put you into a sleepy mood so, against your better judgment, you put your head down on the couch cushions and nodded off for a small nap. 

The sounds of the front door shutting woke you out of you nap as you leaped up from the couch ungraciously. As you looked over you could see Kylo taking off his helmet and placing it back on its platform with a heavy thud. 

“Oh hi.” You said, trying to sound pleasant. But in return you just got a glare as he walked across the apartment and down the hall into his office, the door shutting sharply behind him. 

“Right. Nice conversing with you dear husband of mine.” You said quietly, huffing a little bit before making your way over to the kitchen for a snack. 

What was this guy's problem? Was he really still in a mood over me laughing at a joke. Sure, given a different time you would have openly shown interest in your boss, but you weren't stupid. You knew that you were very much so taken so Kylo had nothing to worry about. You wondered how long you might be given the silent treatment for as he did seem like the sort of person to hold onto their grudges for a long time. 

Well, this marriage was going splendidly so far you thought. 

After having your snack, you noticed that it was nearing to dinner time. Kylo had said you were having dinner with your in-laws, so you figured it was best to start getting ready. Not a minute later some hand maidens came in, whisking you into your room to prepare you for dinner. 

An hour later you were scrubbed up well and in a long sleeves floaty purple dress. Despite the long sleeves you were still cold and noted that you really needed to go clothes shopping, or you were going to freeze to death. 

“There we go Princess, all finished. Dinner will be in another 20 minutes in the King and Queens quarters. We will come get you when it's time to head over. Commander Ren has gone to a quick meeting so he will go straight there.” You just nodded at what your hand maiden said as the four of them walked out. 

It was strange to you having maidens that you didn’t know. Everyone from back home you had a connection with so to be surrounded by strangers was still weird to you. Plus, it didn’t make it easier considering they barely said anything to you despite trying to make conversations with them. Perhaps everyone here just simply doesn’t like talking. You sighed as you felt a heavy feeling come over you. You were so out of your depth here and despite trying to feel positive about it all, you couldn’t help but feel lonely and uncomfortable here. You could only hope that it gets better, surely once you are working things will just slot into place like it used to be. 

You hoped. 

As you were escorted over to see King Han and Queen Leia you felt excited as you knew you would finally be able to talk to someone who would actually respond. Queen Leia seemed to be the only saving grace of the family, while the men gave off a more reserved, and in Kylo's case, a more hostile, vibe. 

Walking into the dining area you saw that everyone was already present, including Kylo. As the King and Queen rose to properly greet you, you noticed that Ren did no such thing. Wow he was really bitter apparently. 

“Good evening dear! I hope you have settled in well since your arrival. How are you liking your new quarters, and did you enjoy seeing the base today?” Leia asked enthusiastically. You gave her a genuine smile, happy to have someone interested in taking to you, unlike your silent husband. 

“I’m all unpacked now.” You said hoping not to have to elaborate on how awkward it actually was living with Ren. “The base is impressive and much more extensive that I thought it would be. 

You have all done a wonderful job.” You figured a bit of flattery would do you well, especially in front of Kylo. 

“How kind of you to say. Yes, we are happy with the way things have progressed for sure.” Han responded. “Did you get a chance to see your new workplace?” He asked. 

As you explained to them about your thoughts and excited feelings about the medical centre you all fell into a comfortable conversation. You definitely won the in-law jackpot and they almost made up for their son in kindness and friendliness. 

Kylo had yet to say a single word to you or anyone tonight. This started to worry you as there was no trace of the semi friendly Ren you had seen glimpses of prior to today. You couldn’t believe that in under 24 hours you had already fucked up this badly and you didn’t even think you had done anything super wrong in the first place. It also made you nervous as to whether you were getting closer to seeing one of his famous outbursts personally. This made your whole-body shiver involuntarily. 

“Are you cold dear? That was a big shiver. Can you please get a blanket for her lap please?” Leia said, looking to one of the maidens close by. 

“Oh, you don’t need to bother, I’m fine really.” You said, not wanting anyone to make a fuss of you. 

“It must be a big change being somewhere so much colder. You need to make sure you keep warm; we wouldn’t want you catching anything nasty from the cool air.” Leia said, concern clearly evident. 

You just smiled shyly and accepted the blanket the maiden passed to you. 

“Now we finally have you warmed up I thought you might like to know that we will all be attending a ball later this week. Would this be something you would be interested in?” Leia asked curiously. 

“Oh yes! My sisters were the ones that got to go to all the balls and dress up all glamorously. I would just sit there in my hospital scrubs while they got ready into gowns. So yes, long story short I would be incredibly interested Queen Leia.” You rushed to get all the words out in your excitement, already daydreaming about how you would want your hair and makeup. 

Leia smiled fondly at you before replying. 

“Great, we will set up a fitting in the main city in few days to get a dress for you. We will also get you some much warmer clothing while we are at it.” You nodded, finally you had something fun to look forward to and brighten you time here, even if it's just momentarily. 

After some more small talk and dessert it was time to head back to your quarters. You half expected Kylo to go rushing off to whatever meeting he likely had. Instead, you both settled into a slow-paced walk back. You opted for silence as you didn’t feel like dealing with glares this late in the evening, besides it's not like he wanted to talk to you anyway. 

Before you knew it, you were back and standing in the foyer of your quarters as Kylo made his way to the kitchen to get a glass of water. You couldn’t wait to see if there was a day that standing in the same room as Kylo wasn’t weird and tense, like you were waiting for something to snap, or more so him to snap. Not wanting to set him off further you figured you were best to just go to bed, you had to be at work early anyway. 

You padded quietly to the bathroom, removing your makeup and throwing your hair into braids. As you walked back into the main area Kylo was still drinking his water. 

“Well um...good night I guess.” You said softly, turning to walk towards your bedroom. Silence followed you to your door as you gave one last glance in his direction. He was still stood there with his glass of water looking into the distance. A burst of frustration hit you and you closed the door a little harder than you intended. You cringed to yourself at your childish actions before retreating to your bed. At least tomorrow you would be finally thrown back into a place that made you feel content and happy. 

The alarm sound that woke you up made you smile in anticipation. Finally, it was time to get to work and you got ready as fast as you could, excited to step out the doors to your quarters and into your new work home. Kylo was nowhere to be seen when you emerged from your room to get ready in the bathroom. You were glad for this as you could prepare for the day without being tense. Grabbing an apple to go with the coffee you made you let yourself out of your quarters and started towards the med centre. You made sure to leave a little earlier than normal to make sure to leave room for getting lost considering you had only walked to the med centre once. 

Luckily your memory served you well and within 10 minutes of walking you were walking inside for your first shift. You were excited as you didn’t know just what you will be up against working for the bases medical team. But you knew you would find out real quick. 

“Ah here she is, welcome Y/N” You turned around swiftly as you hear Doctor Hannacks voice from behind you. 

“Good morning Doctor Hannack. So where would you like me to start?” You asked, eager to get on with the day. 

“Well, we will start with our rounds and then I will delegate everyone to where they are needed.” He said, he motioned for all the doctors standing in the main foyer to follow him. 

Doing rounds, you felt yourself slip into normalcy. There were some standard cases along with some more complex and interesting cases. There seemed to be many troopers with blaster injuries which was to be expected. Before even an hour had gone by you were deep into clearing debris and suturing up wounds, completely in your element. 

As the day passed you found that everyone you worked with was excellent at their job and were super easy to work with. Everyone seemed to just vibe well together and this set you at ease as you could already tell you would be happy here. Yes, you still missed all your old colleagues, but at least you came into a great team. 

After about 5 hours it was time for a break, so you showed yourself to the cantina and grabbed a pastry which was much more delicious than the hospital food from back home. As you were about to take the last bite an emergency was called over the loudspeaker asking for all available personnel to report. Shit, it must be bad. As you quickly stood up you rushed into the main foyer along with everyone else who was summoned. 

“Right, we have multiple casualties coming in. There was an attack on one of our ships and it crashed pretty badly. I need your best work, let's get going.” As Hannack finished speaking the first few patients were wheeled in from the transport bay. All you could see was blood and bones sticking out of places they shouldn’t be. Oh yes, today was going to be a good day. 

All doctors knew that blood and guts shouldn’t be a ‘good’ thing, but it was what doctors thrived on. You knew that every doctor in that room was about to be in their element and it was, in a way, your first test as the newbie for how you work together. 

Like clockwork everyone jumped headfirst into it and you quickly found yourself with your first patient, a trooper, who had a hole through the side of his stomach. At first it looked like bone was visible from deep in the wound until you felt around and realised it was indeed the table underneath. Knowing this guy needed surgery immediately you instructed the nurses and other doctors around you what you needed to have done before you moved. It would be a lengthy surgery and you were ready for it as it felt like it had been years since you had been anywhere near a surgery room. 

As expected, it was difficult getting your trooper to stay stable enough to help him in any real way but, lucky for you, the medical staff here were outstanding, and you finished up the emergency surgery without too much grief. Glancing at the clock you realised you had been in there for almost four hours, you had meant to finish your first proper shift two hours ago, so you were properly exhausted at this point. Looking around the medical centre things seemed calmer and more under control now so you allowed yourself to start the walk back to your quarters, excited at the prospect of changing into clothing that didn’t have all sorts of bodily fluids on them. 

“Ah there you are, how did the surgery go?” You heard Doctor Hannacks voice from behind you. Startled out of your own thoughts you whipped around almost crashing into him, causing you to jump back slightly. 

“Oh hi, yes surgery is done, and the patient made it through. He still will have a long recovery considering we had to repair a few organs and sew his whole left side together again. But he should be fine Doctor.” He smiled at you widely. 

“Well done, I watched closely the way you worked with your patients and the rest of the team here and I am very satisfied with the work done today.” You smiled back at him, still honestly full of adrenaline from such a full-on day. 

“Thank you, I really enjoyed working with everyone and am looking forward to the next shift Sir.” Despite the eventful day you hoped tomorrow would be less chaotic as you were dying to actually get to know the team rather than sewing people back together with them. 

“Go get some rest now and I will see you tomorrow morning Y/N.” He said, turning and walking back down the hall. 

As you walked back to your room you shivered at the breeze of the outside air. While in the med centre you were warmed up and active so being in a short sleeve was fine. But now being outside you felt your arms start to go numb from the plummeting temperature. You felt yourself come to a fast walk as you itched to get inside and into a hot shower. 

Standing in the elevator your arms began the thawing process and you had 20 seconds of nerves hit you as you realised it was around dinner time and Kylo would probably be in there. Sighing you stood up from your slouched position moments before the elevator doors slid open. There in all his intimidating glory was Kylo. He glanced up briefly taking in your appearance before looking back down to his data pad, clearly immersed in what he was doing. 

“Hi, I’m back.” Wow way to state the obvious Y/N. 

There was no greeting in response, no ‘how was your day’, but really you shouldn’t have expected that at all. 

All you could think about was a shower, so you quickly dashed into your room to get some night clothes then made your way into the bathroom. After another fantastic shower you felt your muscles loosen from the excitement and stress of the day as you went into relax mode. Although there was still a tiny bit of lingering tension as you braced yourself to face Kylo again. 

He was in the same position as earlier, so you figured it was best to continue leaving him be, so you wandered into the kitchen looking for something to eat. You were starving considering the fact you had only eaten a small pastry and an apple all day. Looking into the fridge you noticed that a lot of it was pre prepared meals that you had noticed Kylo was eating currently, figuring they were for him you settled for a bowl of cereal. You were too tired to cook anything anyway so cereal was the winner. You also told yourself you needed to place a food order tomorrow so you could also have meals ready for you after shifts. You no longer had your maidens keeping watch over you, so it was your turn to look after yourself. 

“Cereal for dinner?” Kylo questioned. You looked over at him, once again realising you looked like a child in his eyes, because what proper professional adult ate cereal for dinner right? 

“Um well I don’t really have any of my own food here so cereal will do. I can order some food tomorrow.” You said quietly as you sat at the dining table at the other end to Kylo. 

“Did you forget I said to help yourself to anything in the kitchen?” He said sharply. 

“Uh um yes I remember I just didn’t want to take too much of your food that’s all. I will sort it tomorrow Commander.” You said quickly noticing his look of frustration grow. He took a deep breath. 

“Considering I’ve barely seen you eat anything aside from dinner with my parents last night I think it's safe to say you aren't taking too much of my food. Cereal is not a proper nutrional dinner. I will sort out proper meals for you since you can't be trusted to look after yourself. Also, I believe I told you to call me Kylo in private or did you forget that too.” The way he was staring so intensely at you reminded you of the first few times you met. It made you shy and uncomfortable so all you could do in response was look away and down wishing a hole would swallow you up and get you away from his glare. 

You heard him sigh again and he leaned back in his chair clearly annoyed. All you seemed to do since getting here was push his buttons. You hoped you would eventually get along. Or more you hoped he would get over his anger issues and get along with you. 

Feeling too on edge to eat you pushed your cereal from one side of you bowl to the other, the contents growing mushy from the milk. You could still feel his eyes on you as you sat there. All you wanted to do was escape his gaze or throw the bowl at his head, you weren't totally sure which you wanted more. 

“So, you're not even going to eat your pathetic excuse for a dinner then?” He started. But before he could continue you spoke up. 

“Why are you being so nasty to me? Ever since I got here you have been all moody and broody and I don’t understand why. Is it really because I had a friendly conversation with Hannack? He’s my boss, of course we talk. Then you seemed annoyed at the fact I was standing out in the cold. Well, I’m sorry then, I had no idea what the fuck I was forcibly signed up to. I didn’t know I was being moved to a stupid cold as shit planet completely unprepared. I also certainly didn’t know I was signed up to marry you. I’m trying okay. I married you as my parents expected me to. I came here without a fight. I got the short end of the stick. The least you could do is stop being a complete and utter asshole to me.” You finished in a shout. 

All of a sudden there was no air in your lungs as you had expelled everything you had with your venting. By the end of it you were stood up from your chair facing in Kylo’s direction raking in breaths. You couldn’t look him in the eyes as you just knew that there would be pure rage in them from the way you just talked to him. You really were screwing yourself over weren't you? 

Before he could react, you ran. You ran out the door and into the elevator, hoping it would hurry up and get your down and away from the ticking time bomb sitting at the dining table. As you stepped out the elevator you realised two things. 

One: You were in your night wear. 

Two: You had nowhere to go. 

The feelings of loneliness overwhelmed you and tears pricked your eyes until you had to duck into a quiet hallway to let them drop down your face. What were you meant to do now? 

Without any real purpose or direction you just walked, ignoring the odd looks you got from any generals or troopers that passed by you. After 20 minutes or so you wound up in front of the medical centre. Right, you thought. You’re pissed off and need to get your mind off what just happened, time to work. 

Stepping back into the medical centre not even an hour after you had left you quickly slipped into the staff common area, finding spare scrubs in your cubby hole. After getting changed you walked out the door and found the attending doctor, who you had met briefly the first day you came to the centre. Her name was Sera, and she was close in age to you, though a few years older.  
She had seemed nice and was one of the medics you had hoped to make friends with. 

“Oh Y/N didn’t your shift just end?” She asked, clearly confused. 

“Yes. But um...I can't sleep, and I just would like to do more work.” You trailed off awkwardly as she stared at you. 

“Have you been crying?” She asked suddenly. 

“Oh no. Just an irritated eye that's all.” You said, hoping she would buy it. 

“Then how do you explain the tear trails in your makeup?” She said suspiciously. 

To that you didn’t know what else to say so you stood there unsure how to proceed. Worried she would just send you back home to your temperamental husband. 

“Fight with the husband?” She asked cautiously, obviously unsure if that was okay to ask you. 

You just gave a short laugh. 

“Hoped I would make it a little longer before I saw angry Kylo that’s for sure.” You said honestly. “Look can I just do a couple hours then I will go back home okay? Or even better I can just pull a double and go home a bit earlier after my shift tomorrow?” You asked hopeful. 

She considered what you said before responding. 

“Okay fine that sounds like a plan to me then. We don’t have anything terribly exciting at the moment so just catch up with any chart notes you might have until duty calls. 

“Thank you, Sera,” You said softly. 

“No worries. I get it must be a big change for you here, so I am more than happy to be a person you come to if you need anything okay?” She replied. You smiled at her before getting a sudden rush of nostalgia as she reminded you of Nephron a lot. Shaking you head slightly you threw yourself into your shift, coffee in hand, trying your hardest to forget what you would have to eventually go home to.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is the first time in ages I have written something so eek lets see how this goes! At the moment I will just update as I write and go from there :)


End file.
